Offensive Tackle -> Marathon Runner

SOPA

2012-01-22T09:31:00.002-05:00

I don't know that Bill Maher got "owned" as the title suggests but obviously none of his guests agreed with him on the matter. Imagine his position had he not released "Religulous" and suffered direct, obvious financial loss thanks to internet piracy. I imagine the quasi-rant would have gone something like this:

"But c'mon... SOPA is the product of a handful of the biggest recording and entertainment conglomerates who, after well over 10 years of Napster, Limewire and the Pirate Bay, finally figured out how to line the pockets of enough members of the house and senate to get what looks like real congressional action on the matter of piracy. But don't we all know that these conglomerates are made up of the same lazy business people who want to cling to the model of the 90's where people were dumb enough to actually pay the purchase price on ridiculously overpriced CD's in these quaint little shops then known as record stores? Haven't we progressed far enough as a society to understand that no one is going to pay that kind of money for the privilege of listening to Van Halen's most recent rehash of their own previous work, or to be treated to Lady GaGa's latest unintelligible squawking? If Vince McMahon is backing this legislation, you know it's only good for a few business folks while the millions of common people who consume all of this crap, for reasons I still can't begin to fathom, get screwed -- all in the name of increased profits for giant corporations that already skate by essentially untaxed by the federal government!"

*insert riotous applause here*

Whichever member of Maher's panel said "scalpel instead of an axe" was correct. There is far more to be lost by tipping the balance full on in favor of the giant corporations and potentially silencing millions of expressed thoughts and ideas on the internet -- because Hollywood is definitely out of ideas if they're remaking Judge Dredd already -- than to take piracy on in a case-by-case basis as we are now. We're not experiencing any shortage of shitty music, TV and movies as was predicted by Lars Ulrich and his anti-Napster pals circa 2000 thanks to piracy. If anything, the lesser talented among us have more of a voice and are making more money because of it than they ever would have before (see: 11 seasons of American Idol -- all winners got lucrative recording contracts but how many can you name unaided by Google?).

Adapt, mofos. Adapt.

YAY

2012-01-06T08:09:00.001-05:00

TNG: HD

2012 Goals

2012-01-02T09:28:00.003-05:00

1. Total Mileage > 650 (55 miles/month)
2. Total Runs > 180 (15/month)
3. Weight < 250 (-32 pounds; -3/month)
4. One 8+ mile run every month
5. Three months > 100 miles logged
6. Race at least two half marathons
7. PR all measured distances (except 26.2M) at least once
8. Cut > 15:00 cumulatively from PR times
9. Catch Nate in a race

2011 Review

2012-01-01T09:55:00.004-05:00

I was on the road to another record-shattering year of running until injuries and surgeries caught up with me at the end of the third quarter that persisted through the fourth quarter of 2011. The knees have objectively recovered as evidenced by a new three mile record set on Christmas Eve, however they still don't quite feel 100% yet. Sometimes I run with braces and the knees hurt anyway; sometimes I run without braces and feel no pain at all.

New Year Resolution: No more basketball without basketball shoes!

The Personal Records section is getting wiped out for the new year, here is its final standing for 2011:

Personal Records
1M: 7:45 (-0:02), 9/17/2011
2M: 16:29 (-0:03), 4/2/2011
3M: 25:32 (-1:15), 12/24/2011
5K: 27:32 (-1:52), 1/23/2011
4M: 35:38 (-0:44), 4/22/2011
5M: 47:06, 11/3/2010
6M: 55:58 (-0:28), 3/5/2011
8M: 1:28:09, 4/17/2010
15K: 1:31:18, 10/10/2010
10M: 1:41:59 (-17:01), 2/5/2011
13.1M: 2:13:56 (-9:42), 3/27/2011
26.2M: 6:09:39, 5/21/2006

The above represents 31:06 shaved off of personal records across all distances, some of which were set multiple times.

2011 Goals, Performance

1. Total Mileage: 750 (62.5 miles/month)
Performance: 493.8 (41.2 miles/month)
750 - 493.8 = 256.2 short
Vs. 2010: 493.8 - 546 = -52.2
66%

2. Total Runs: 180 (15/month)
Performance: 143 (11.9/month
180 - 143 = 37 short
Vs. 2010: 143 - 149 = -6
79%

3. Weight: 265 (-22.4 pounds, 1.9 pounds/month)
Performance: 271.4 @ 8/28/2011 (276.2 @ 12/24/2011)
22.4 - 16 = 6.4 pounds short
71%

4. 2 Miles: < 15:00
Performance: 16:29
16:29 - 15:00 = 1:29 short

5. 10+ mile run monthly
Performance: 3/12
12 - 3 = 9 short
25%

6. 100+ miles logged in a month
None (Closest month: 7/2011 @ 69)

7. PR the 5K
Done, 1/23/2011 @ 27:32

8. PR the Caesar Rodney Half Marathon by 10+ minutes (< 2:16:44)
Done, 3/27/2011 @ 2:13:56

9. PR the Marathon
Did not attempt

10. Quarterly Updates
3/4

A lot of the shortcomings can be directly attributed to lost capacity in the last third of the year, though not entirely. The first four months of the year were not as strong as they should have been -- a lot of ~40 mile months with 12-ish runs that should have been 60 and 15 or better, respectively. There is not enough moderate-distance runs (4-6 miles); there is a total absence of long runs (8+ miles) after the CR in March. To bridge the gap and perhaps even address the injury issue as I've noticed it takes me a while to recover from setting a new record at 1-4 miles, most of the focus in 2012 will be on endurance and NOT speed.

July was my best month in terms of miles and total runs (69 and 17; this is what an average month should look like, ideally). For setting new records, February saw new marks set for three and ten miles that represent an impressive span between endurance and speed.

2012 goals to follow!

You're Doing it Wrong

2011-12-31T08:49:00.002-05:00

Couple duct tapes kids, posts photos to Facebook.

This is why I will never have a Facebook account. When I duct tape my kids, I don't want to be prosecuted for it.

God Bless Tim Tebow, Detroit & Seattle

2011-12-13T07:45:00.005-05:00

Going into Monday night's game, I had only one card left out of four originals, an eight team parlay that would yield $65 on a $5 wager. That card was the recipient of divine intervention in order to stay alive... twice. First, I happened to notice as we were leaving Timothy's Sunday afternoon that the Lions/Vikings game was not only not over, the Vikings were suddenly driving with less than a minute to play. I needed the Lions to win by 4 or more to stay in it, they were up 34-28. With 9 seconds left and first and goal from the Detroit 1, my heart sank as it seemed all but certain the Vikings would score a touchdown, win, and make me lose that last card.

The heavens parted, a little face-masking went uncalled and Minnesota fumbled the ball and the game away. Woo!

Then my attention turned to the Bears/Broncos game, where I needed the Broncos to lose by 2 or less, or win outright. The Bears had a 10-0 lead five seconds into the fourth quarter and looked to be putting an end to all this Tebow silliness and my hopes of financial reward.

They forgot about Dre. They always forget about Dre.

Demaryius Thomas, not to be confused with Devin Thomas as I tried to, snagged a ten yard touchdown from St. Tebow with 2:08 left in regulation. The Broncos got the ball back on their own 20 yard line with 1:12 left and drove down to the Bears' 41. A 59 yard field goal to send the game into overtime? Surely not.

I used the word "regulation" as a foreshadowing tool because damned if Prater didn't drill the hell out of the 59 yarder. That kick had 65 yards on it, easily. To overtime we went!

Chicago got the ball first in OT and helpfully fumbled it over to the Broncos immediately upon entering field goal range for Robbie Gould. Tim Tebow Jesused his way down to the Bears' 33 yard line and let Prater hit a chip-shot 51 yard field goal to seize the most unlikely of wins and preserve my card.

Monday night: I needed the Seahawks to win by 2 or more over the Rams in order to lock the card up. Seattle did all they could to keep St. Louis in game for as long as possible but St. Louis ultimately would hear nothing of it. Seattle won 30-13, and I will finally hold the line up a little bit longer this coming Sunday as I redeem football gold.

Honorable mention: It also helped that the Patriots didn't let Washington score a final touchdown.

This is Why You (I) Shouldn't Gamble

2011-12-05T07:48:00.003-05:00

I threw the cards with my football picks for week 13 down on the bar with a combination of authority, resignation and barely contained outrage that this far into the season I am still looking for my first win. In particular, I left the two cards with only three teams chosen on top.

"I have to win these... right?" The cards reflected the same three teams chosen to cover their respective spreads; the difference is that one card offered purposely better lines with lesser odds while the other offered near-accurate lines with a better payout. My mates saw the flaw with these two cards immediately. I had correctly chosen Carolina and Denver, however:

"Yeah, but you can't bet on Dallas."

"Why not?! They will steamroll Arizona!" How could they not? Arizona wasn't supposed to have Kolb playing this week and Dallas should be able to smell New York blood in the water since Eli & Co. would almost certainly lose to Green Bay. I needed Dallas to just win on the lesser odds card and win by more than 5 on the greater odds card. Their winning was assured, it was only a question of by how much.

Several hours later, Joe Buck's sweet, sweet voice taunted, "... and Dallas just lost to Arizona in overtime..."

Second week in a row that my picks have been derailed by one team's nonsense.

Random Ruminations

2011-11-30T07:44:00.005-05:00

1. Best Sandwich Ever:
Rum Ham
Whiskey Lamb
Extra sharp cheddar
Artisan roll

Nuke until cheese starts to melt, then drizzle mayo on top. I think adding fresh tomato and onion to the nuked product would only enhance the experience.

2. I was one Pittsburgh Steelers' point away from collecting over $300 on a $5 12 team parlay last week; they needed to beat the Chiefs by 5 for me to win, they only won by 4. Therefore, I hate them. You should too.

3. Little surprised by the two game suspension to N(whatever) Suh. Suh's actions on the field that caused the suspension were certainly unsportsmanlike. His comments after the fact about only he and "the man upstairs" knowing what he truly did are outrageous in light of the invention of the camera. Where is Tim Tebow when you need him?

4. Mom works for a financial planner who has made a lot of people a lot of money over the years -- their clientele is made up of several millionaires who have been with Mom's boss for decades. His father recently sold his house and moved to an assisted living community. When he asked his son what he should do with the proceeds from the sale of the house, Mom's boss replied, "I wish I could tell you."

5. Dad's business in the Outer Banks, Duck Donuts, sold their millionth donut of the year earlier this month. They started with two stores in 2007 and have since added two more. Despite the tanking economy, his profits have soared more than 30% every year. Dunkin Donuts tried to move in the year after he opened. He held his breath as there was no telling what that might do to his market. It turned out to be laughable, Dunkin can't hold Duck's jock strap. Dad's plan is to operate 1-2 more years, sell the business and retire. If the right people get hold of the company and grow it the right way, this has national chain potential. (No, I will not buy it as I lack millions of dollars in venture capital... at the moment)

6. Knees seem to be OK, although my range is 3-6 miles right now. I'd like to see a 10 miler soon. Deep squatting is still painful though. I am just shocked that two hours of basketball which apparently did not cause a significant injury is still not quite healed all the way.

Recovery Finale (Hopefully)

2011-11-16T10:37:00.005-05:00

What I've found helpful in my recovery process:

* Stretching multiple times prior to running
* Altering my running gait to land more toward the midfoot instead of the heel
* Decreasing the angle of bend in each elbow to much lower than the oft-suggested 90 degrees -- more like 45 degrees
* Fish oil caps, specifically Flameout from Biotest (it's definitely an ad for their product but the linked article is a good read for informational purposes on its own)
* New running shoes, specifically the 860 by New Balance (after a completely failed experiment with another NB shoe that may in fact have caused the basketball injury, and an only moderately successful trial with Asics that showed I can have shoes that actually rebound from the forefoot instead of flattening out with no response on impact)

Having just returned from an unplanned record-breaking three miler despite being almost ten pounds heavier today than the day of the injury, the worst appears to be over. That I've only been running seriously for about ten days but set a new record tells me I was over-training at the time of the injury and needed some serious down-time anyway. I'm not going to make any of my annual goals in terms of mileage or frequency, and being 15-20 pounds away from 265 with two major eating holidays left this year makes it seem unlikely that I'll hit the weight goal either, but all things considered this could have gone much worse -- and much longer.

Paterno -v- Sandusky

2011-11-15T09:04:00.003-05:00

Mike McQueary, the graduate assistant who allegedly saw Sandusky raping a 10-ish year old boy in the showers at Penn State in 2002, first called his father and went home to discuss the situation. I find that choice very odd, under the circumstances. We hope the instinct would be to stop the rape, by force if necessary (stories are coming out this morning of an email from McQueary to friends that states he did make sure it stopped -- this is the first we've heard of that and could just mean he waited until it otherwise naturally ended). Failing that, we hope the first choice made is to call 9-1-1. Failing that, it could be reasonably argued that McQueary fulfilled his ethical and legal obligations if he immediately notified someone in authority at the school.

He didn't do that either. He called his father and then went home to discuss the situation. That tells me Mr. McQueary was more worried about the ramifications of his being the whistle blower and what that might mean for his career at Penn State. Only after this discussion did he report to Paterno what he saw and to my knowledge, we still don't know what exactly he said. If he minced his words and danced around what happened, all of this is entirely on McQueary and he should be held accountable as such. You can't say, "It's a little warm in here," when the house is ablaze.

If, however, McQueary told Paterno in clear terms what exactly happened, Penn State made the right move in firing Paterno as swiftly as they did as that is where the breakdown in action occurred. Paterno said last week prior to being canned, "In hindsight, I wish I had done more." If we take that statement at face value, Paterno has had enough time to reflect on his relative inaction over the years and clearly feels immense guilt for not ensuring justice was served. It is also possible Paterno made that comment to protect McQueary but it seems from Paterno's coaching style, at least, that he is not the sort to protect those who should not be protected. Alas, we probably also figured from Paterno's coaching style that he would have done the right thing nine years ago and seen this through to the end.

Sandusky is not helping his cause. Excerpts from an interview by Bob Costas set to air on tonight's Rock Center have been released this morning in which Sandusky says, "No," when asked by Costas if he is a pedophile. Sandusky also made the following statement:

"I could say that I have done some of those things. I have horsed around with kids, I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs without intent of sexual contact." Source

"I could say I have done some of those things." If you ever watched the unfortunately cancelled Lie to Me, Tim Roth's character would destroy Sandusky for his choice of words and have the man in tears by the end of the episode.

When asked by Costas to concede any wrongdoing, Sandusky said, "I shouldn't have showered with those kids." Source

He's right, he shouldn't have. But he did. Having read all 23 pages of the grand jury report, it is difficult to see how Sandusky doesn't spend the rest of his life behind bars for it, among other actions.

Watch out for your cornhole, dude[s]

2011-11-12T08:10:00.003-05:00

Nasty, but points for creativity:

Kids -- not just girls -- using tampons to get drunk

Veterans' Day 5K

2011-11-07T07:43:00.005-05:00

My employer is the title sponsor each year for a Veterans' Day 5K that starts and ends near Trolley Square in Wilmington. Its fifth year running happened yesterday. I've done two of the previous four of my own accord as no real mention of the race was actually made at work.

For some reason this year, we decided to make it a competition between different business units and pushed it pretty hard. I've been pushing it to my team since September; at first it seemed we were going to have about 10 people out of 25 participate. The final number was five, including me. Given that my team is not made up of athletes and former high school track stars by any stretch, I'm proud we got that many.

A couple people at work know of my knee situation and asked throughout the week if I was still planning to run it. I didn't quite know what I was going to do, even an hour before the race. My only run the previous week was a two miler in which every single step I took sent shock waves of pain through each knee and made me think it was time to call for a second opinion. Ultimately I prepared to run the race and figured I could switch to walking if the pounding wasn't well received.

Reaching down to start my watch at the starting mat, I struggled to get out from behind several first-time race-walkers who didn't know any better than to line up wherever they found themselves at the race's start. I thought I successfully hit the start button on my watch but I was also trying not to run the newbies over. I discovered the start button remained stubbornly un-pushed as I approached the one mile mark and had no idea what pace I was running at.

It didn't really matter what my pace was. I had run the first mile of the race at a decent clip and not one step yielded pain of any kind. I was surprised, more than anything, and made sure to start the watch right at the one mile mark so I could at least judge the second and third miles accordingly.

I crossed the second mile right around nine minutes flat and tried to figure out what my first mile was based on how I felt. It seemed I ran the first at least that fast and I was still pain-free so I pressed on.

I hadn't paid attention to hills or strategy at all, so the hills that greeted me in the third mile caught me off-guard. I shortened my stride, increased my frequency and tried to hang with a girl about seven seconds ahead that seemed to be handling them all right. By race's end she extended her lead to about 20 seconds, but that was fine; I notched a completely pain-free 28:05, about 30 seconds slower than my 5K PR set on the very same course earlier this year. More surprising was that my watch read 19:44 for the final 2.1 miles. That meant I averaged 9:24 per mile over that stretch. My first mile was apparently done in 28:05 - 19:44 = 8:21. Perhaps it was best my watch wasn't turned on for the first, if I had seen that fast of a time I might have panicked.

As far as race strategy goes, mine was terrible; you never want to run your fastest mile out of the gate as you can't recover that energy fast enough later on (as I proved in how much I struggled up the hills in the third mile). Ideally I would have started at the pace of my last 2.1 miles and finished at the pace of my first mile so this was completely backwards. Even so, I am inspired by the time, the lack of pain, and the fact that I coincidentally finished the race to the tune of Disturbed's "Indestructible".

I caught up with someone from work who knows of my knee issues, related my surprisingly successful story and said, "Maybe this was just what I needed to get going again." We'll find out this week. I've definitely had enough of not running the last month or so.

Sports

2011-10-29T07:56:00.003-04:00

I am weary from watching the team that beats the Phillies in the postseason going on to win the World Series (2009: Yankees, 2010: Giants, 2011: Cardinals). Like the Eagles during their span of NFC Championship games that yielded one lonely, vomit-plagued Super Bowl appearance, the Phillies are approaching mid-90s Buffalo Bills status except that they're not even that good save for the 2008 championship.

One thing I never get tired of though, and it's a good thing because there's as much of it as you'll ever want, is reading new stories about Donovan McNabb's faults. As a player, as a leader, and as a person, it never seems to be Donovan's fault when things go wrong.

He was my quarterback for 11 years and won many more games than he lost. He had the best scramble of any quarterback ever, against the best team he possibly could have done that to. He played most of a game on a broken ankle. I should be incensed and livid that someone, anyone, would dare mock his work habits, his commitment, his tenacity. Yet, all I feel compelled to do in the face of such accusations is turn a finger in his general direction and Nelson-ishly chuckle: "Haha."

At the very end of the broken ankle link the Sklar brothers ask, "What do you have to do in Philadelphia?" The short answer is, acknowledge your weaknesses and show unquestionable, measurable improvement over an 11 year span in those areas. Not to be confused with throwing your defense under the bus.

I'm not bitter.

Recovery, Part II

2011-10-23T09:15:00.003-04:00

Mom broke her foot in the first half of 2010. She has yet to recover despite seeing several doctors and physical therapists since the injury occurred. Apparently the bones have healed however the muscles, ligaments and tendons remain damaged to the point that just walking around her house is an experiment in pain from day to day. I asked her if anyone has suggested surgery as an option to repair the damage. "Not one person has even said the word. If they did, what would they operate on?" I figure if they can repair torn ACLs and MCLs via surgery the same can probably done in the foot but, admittedly, my name doesn't end with the letters, "Ph.D" or "M.D." Her general complaint across the spectrum of health care professionals she has seen to date is that they either are not listening to and addressing her pain points, or they are not treating her aggressively enough.

Likewise, I am suspicious that my orthopedic doctor perhaps undertreated my knees as they still hurt much as they did a month ago. In his defense, I have not been as diligent in doing lunges to strengthen the knees as perhaps I should be, however I wonder if lunges are doing more harm than good in any event. The concentric movement (lowering to the ground) is painful. The eccentric movement (pushing up) is both painful and loud in terms of pops and snaps. I am still unable to fully squat to the ground without immense pain, particularly in the left knee. Of late, I've found I don't even need to be standing in order to be treated to the sounds of what ails my knees internally. Lying in bed on my back, I need only slightly lift and straighten my leg to hear and feel a horrific bubble-crunch around the kneecap in either leg.

The tri-strap knee braces still permit me to run short distances at relatively low speeds so I can at least pretend to engage in running. They present a different threat as I found a few days ago though; the back of both knees now have deep, gross lacerations where the knee braces have been digging in to my skin. Those must heal before I try using the braces again so there will be no running for at least a week. Apparently the braces need to be a bit more loose but I'm not sure how much looser I can go before either the knee braces fail to stay in place on my leg, or lose their effectiveness.

I have half a mind to bag running of any kind for the rest of the year and see what 10 weeks of relative rest does for me as a means of protecting what I'm able to do next year. We'll see what things look like once these gashes heal so I can put the braces on again.

Nerd Status Attained

2011-10-15T23:27:00.005-04:00

Behold, my new found power of calculus I domination:

Recovery, Part I

2011-10-13T08:13:00.004-04:00

Two hours of basketball seems to have derailed my running plans for the rest of the year. The left knee isn't healing as quickly as my doctor suggested it might. "No running for two weeks, stay off your feet as much as you can for the first. Then ease back into running gradually." Two weeks ended a week ago.

That morning I went for a trial two mile run at a purposely slow pace. Of course I had knee braces on, however I noticed neither of them was particularly snug. The run went poorly; the time was about what I wanted in 20:18 but the pain during and afterward was much more than I predicted.

The next run I went on was yesterday morning, almost a week later. The night before I stopped at Kmart on my way home from school to look for new knee braces. I typically use open-patella neoprene braces with no straps as these offer stability without compromising range of motion. Kmart, correctly identified by Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman almost 25 years ago by the word "sucks", only offered knee braces that had three straps each. Range of motion would certainly be sacrificed for stability in these near casts. I had visions of wrapping myself like a mummy during the Halloween season and locking each leg up with these to complete the costume.

Desperate times, desperate measures. I bought a pair and hoped for the best.

To my surprise, the run went rather well yesterday. The knee hurt, but not nearly as much as last week's dream-crushing two mile trial run of over 20 minutes. I finished two in just over 18 minutes yesterday, which is probably a bit faster than I should have. With a manageable level of pain, though, I think that's a good sign. I'm off to try it again shortly.

Months ago I signed up for the Philly half marathon which goes off on 11/20. After losing the last month to this injury and with only six weeks until race day, I doubt I'll be in good enough shape to make it to the starting line. These new braces give me a glimmer of hope, though. If I can hit six miles before the end of this month and ten miles the week before the race, I'll give it a shot.

Speaking of M%$#%$%^!ers

2011-10-01T09:53:00.003-04:00

May I present Bank of America.

Stuck in Salisbury with no access to PNC Bank ATMs and therefore incurring ludicrous ATM surcharges, I reviewed my options to switch and landed on BofA. There was a branch in town, they took my photo for my debit card as an added layer of protection against identity theft (which I had been a victim of earlier that year), they appeared in the background of Marty McFly's return trip from 1955 to 1985 in Back to the Future, and their name was "Bank of America". Surely they had branches and ATMs everywhere, right?

I found out when I unexpectedly moved back to Delaware months later, no. BofA was more like "Bank of Everywhere Except Delaware". Then they bought MBNA. A branch appeared a year after that in Greenville, about 10 minutes from work. Yay! That branch has since moved across the street for no apparent reason. The new place looks way nicer than the old place, granted. But when you're one of the leading causes of "2008" being a four-letter word, perhaps "way nicer branches" isn't the thing to focus on.

And while we're making suggestions for things not to focus on, it would be just swell if they decided not to rape their checking account customers for $5 a month when we use our debit cards to buy stuff. It's not our fault Congress made the banks stop pillaging the poor folks who got mortgages they couldn't handle. To be clear, both parties are at fault there; the poor folks shouldn't have gone for the mortgages, the banks shouldn't have offered them -- but the poor folks can at least claim ignorance and lack of understanding in a system weighed down with paperwork and fine print, while it's the bank's effing job to know what they're lending to whom, and what the risks are.

That said, let me field one BS $5 charge on my debit card and watch how quickly I move everything I have away from your grabby-ass hands. Both WSFS and the invasionary M&T Bank look very attractive to my wandering financial eyes right about now.

Fate? Yeah, Fate is a M%$#%$%^!er

2011-09-25T08:42:00.003-04:00

I landed on both feet after a particular jump more than midway through basketball last weekend but felt something... crunchy... in my left knee. It hurt, but not badly. I could still walk, jog, even minimally sprint, but something wasn't right. Toning down my Tenacious D (zing!) for the last 30 minutes or so, I resigned myself to the fact that Monday morning would probably yield a painful reminder of the difference between ages 13 and 31. As measured by soreness and whining.

There was soreness and there was whining. There was also near-inability to put weight on my left leg. The half-steps I was able to take were accompanied by a cacophony of *snap*s and *crackle*s. Thankfully, no *pop*s.

Tuesday was worse. I put knee braces on underneath gray slacks for work. My boss picked them out almost immediately, herself a veteran of knee issues and home remedies, and virtually demanded I make an appointment. My inability to successfully and man-ishly handle steps persisted. That night, in Calculus, my professor remarked that he had a sinus infection over the weekend and was trying to fight it off so please excuse his intermittent coughing. He grimaced at one point for no obvious reason and reset himself on his chair.

"These sinus infections are tricky," he said, and seemed to look knowingly at me. "I had my knee replaced a few years ago. How I feel in my head," he pointed to the bridge of his nose from which a headache no doubt originated, "is also how I feel in my knee."

... what? A headache in his knee? I wanted to no part of that.

I had x-rays done Thursday morning and went to see an orthopedic doctor Paul Bauer had recommended to me years ago Friday morning. I was very interested to hear what the doctor had to say about the x-rays, certainly in terms of my current condition but also in terms of the overall wear-and-tear of running since 1999. My suspicions were admittedly grim. I half-expected him to frown the kind of frown that is frowned when terminal illness is about to be uncovered as he declared, "Your running days are over. You should go bike-shopping." "Bike" could be replaced with any number of substitute-objects to shop for, up to and including "walker".

Instead, he pointed to two places on my right knee which, while not unscathed from the basketball affair, was relatively pain-free by Friday morning and shouldering the bulk of my 275 pound load. "I see the very beginnings of a bone spur here... and here, but I have to look hard for it in both places... nothing to worry about right now." He looked at me, looked at the x-ray of both legs taken from behind and smirked. "I do notice you have less available room on the inside of both knees than the outside... just a, uh... genetic gift, let's say... from one of your grandparents."

He asked some questions, propped me up on the table and started pushing all over both knees. He had me walk across the room and also squat. The squat was agonizing. He seemed not to notice.

"I see no sign of serious internal injury, such as a ligament or cartilage tear. There's an unusual event that coincides with the pain you're feeling -- basketball -- and you seem to be improving each day so I see no reason to do any further tests at this point. The extension mechanism in your knee was overloaded by the sudden demand for force that it was not used to handling and broke down a bit. No running for two more weeks, stay off your feet as much as you can for the first week, and then gradually try to get back into the running. Start with a half a mile, then a mile, and so on. If your pain persists past two weeks, come back and see us and we'll see what else we can do."

He lowered his voice slightly. "You don't do any cross-training, do you? Biking, weight lifting, that sort of thing?" I shook my head; for years, running has been the only tool in my arsenal. "This will be a recurring problem for you unless you take active and aggressive steps to strengthen the musculature around your knees. Your legs are well conditioned for distance running but that's endurance-centric and only really applies to that one particular motion -- distance running. You're missing a strength-building component. That will be the armor that protects you from this kind of breakdown.

The pain of a thousand miles run on the hills of 273 over the years begged to differ. "I do significant running on steep hills, that doesn't cover me?"

"It's a variation of running and while it helps, it's still endurance-centric with just an increased role of slightly different muscles. What you need are load-bearing movements of 10-12 repetitions that approach or attain muscular failure -- squats, leg presses, whatever you want to do."

And so, I am in the market for a bench or a cage. I am also in search of a good squat form as mine always sucked.

"Sometimes, Fate Plays Cruel Tricks on Us."

2011-09-17T13:06:00.006-04:00

I awoke this morning at 7am to study for a makeup Calculus I midterm that I felt went very badly last Tuesday. I expected a multiple choice exam that night; I got an essay-style instead, and struggled my way through almost the entire exam. Believing I had done C work at best, I exercised my ability to take a makeup exam this morning after re-studying. Mid-retake, I was interrupted by my professor as he sat at his desk grading papers from our class, among others.

"Jason... by my estimation, your score on the original midterm is well over 90. I only see one incorrect response."

I stayed to finish the makeup exam anyway as I was dominating it, but that was hot.

I then went to 273 to run what I thought was going to be four miles. It is much cooler today than it's been in three or four months so I thought I'd try to run my fastest four miles out there and see what kind of gains I made over the summer. 7:21 stared back at me as I came within 30 seconds of the end of the first mile. I dropped the hammer and crossed the underpass in 7:45, the fastest mile I've ever run (by a whole two seconds, but still -- the lack of one-mile PR intention today tells me that I might be able to see a sub-7:00 mile later this year).

Tomorrow, I play basketball with Colin for the first time in at least five years. Perhaps I'll rain threes with my new-found white boy jump shot if this streak of unexpected awesomeness holds up...

... perhaps not, that would be ludicrous.

New Blog Added

2011-09-15T07:18:00.002-04:00

Check out Know What's F***ing Crazy via this link or its appearance on the blog roll to the right and become educated on how shocking it is that anything ever exists.

Kudos to Nate for finding this gem.

There Not Going Too Get It

2011-09-08T08:25:00.001-04:00

The End is Nigh

2011-09-05T08:38:00.006-04:00

Sometimes I surprise myself. This is not good, usually. Perhaps an unexpected bodily function at the most inopportune time. Maybe an absent-minded decision to wear white after Labor Day. Of late, I've been dabbling in the art of eating a bit from each thing on my plate in combination, as opposed to complete consumption of one item before moving onto the next -- the jury is out on whether most of you have been on to something or if the silent minority has had it right since 1980. And if I ever get on an airplane again, "surprise" will be among the more mild emotions I'll experience; at the other end of the spectrum is "pants-crapping terror".

I need a big ass bus, like John Madden's.

But then there are times, such as this, where I've made a bold claim for a course of action that is later confirmed as "essential", or "a good idea", or "painfully obvious". This, my friends, is one of those times. 18ish months ago, I called for the dissolution of the US Postal service for its apparent needlessness in the modern age of e-mail and horseless carriages.

Today, we find the USPS is staring a $5.5 billion payment in the face that it can't make without congressional intervention and lots of hugs.

Awww.

This is a perfect economic example of why union labor doesn't work in the long term for almost any industry. Unionized labor artificially increases the labor and tax cost to the employer; the employer pays more to a union than to a regular employee because of the union's collective bargaining power, but the union member does not provide additional productivity or value over the regular employee. The employer must pass those increased labor and tax costs onto their consumers, which drives the price point above where it normally would have been. A good sold at a higher price means less of the good will be sold, therefore less of it needs to be produced. When demand is artificially stifled like this, there is less need for innovation and creativity. We do the same thing, the same way, for 30 years and expect to receive a healthy retirement package and a gold watch at the end. Then we have the audacity to wonder why foreign automakers, for example, dominate our domestic market.

The only way unionized labor ever works in the long term, let alone can be ultimately considered a good idea, is when you have seemingly limitless demand in the marketplace. The NFL is a good example of this. The league makes money hand over fist because people cannot get enough of it. We have preseason games that sell out, 17 weeks of amazing plays and gut-wrenching injuries (enjoy Leonard Weaver's week one vomit-inducing knee injury from last season all over again), playoffs, the Super Bowl, the Pro Bowl (that nobody really cares about but millions of people watch it anyway), the Combine, the Draft, mini-camps and OTAs, and then training camp. Despite all this, the NFL is this close to adding two more regular season games to drive revenue, meaning that a team that goes to the Super Bowl and does not get a first round playoff bye will play 26 games including the pre- and post-season.

That's half a year.

Obligatory Saturday Morning Economic Review

2011-09-03T08:51:00.003-04:00

Recent speculation of a double-dip recession is essentially confirmed. With a net of zero jobs added to the economy for August, recent and mostly downward-pointing volatility in the stock market and plunging consumer confidence, there's little sign of avoiding the textbook definition of a recession (we're probably already in it but won't know that for sure until later this year).

In a contracting economy, the universally recognized course of action to spur growth is for the government to increase spending while cutting taxes. The government spending money guarantees more jobs, and the reduction in taxes guarantees both people and businesses will have more disposable income to either spend or squirrel away for a rainy day. But waitaminute... we just hit our previous debt ceiling last month. How can we increase spending when we already maxed out our credit card as a country?

We shouldn't. The universally recognized response to a contracting economy has never run into a situation like this, where the government has already thrown trillions of dollars into the black hole created by asshole bankers like JPMorganChase and Bank of America, nor pyramid scheme-running shysters like Bernie Madoff and, yes, the social security system.

As to the latter, if you're reading this, I hope your long term economic plan does not include one dime from that system. It will not be there in a meaningful way 20 years from now, let alone 30 or 40.

So, we can't really increase spending without being very irresponsible, to put it mildly. What happens if we cut government spending? That needs to be part of the long term solution, but in the short to intermediate time frame it would shove unemployment past 10%; how far past is determined by how much cutting is done.

As a nation, it seems to me we've become resistant to consequences for poor decisions. When we buy a home or start a business, what happens if we fail? The house gets foreclosed on or the business goes bankrupt. What does that actually mean in real terms? Foreclosure means the lender that holds the mortgage is not getting paid what the mortgage was worth when it originated. The house will ultimately be sold again, with some of the proceeds going to the lender; the lender will then write off the difference between the mortgage and the sale of the house on its tax return as a loss. Bankruptcies vary depending on what chapter is engaged, but at best the creditors get a percentage of what they should have originally received; they also write off the difference on their tax returns. The people who are foreclosed on or who declare bankruptcy will live in credit-based hell for 7-10 years, may not be able to find work because of it, and may ultimately go on some form of welfare.

The government thusly holds the leftover bags of fail of everyone - the lender, the homeowner and the business. When the government pays for anything, it does so with tax revenue (mostly). Somewhere, sometime, our taxes have to increase in order to pay for the rising debts. Taxes going up means less disposable income for everyone, which means less jobs, which means more people on welfare, which means more rising taxes, less growth, more recession, less spending, more jobs lost...

Either someone needs to gift the US government at least $10 trillion, or we need a very different solution to emerge in short order. Warren Buffet doesn't have $10 trillion so how about good ol' fashioned productivity? If we all do a little bit more to contribute to the economy -- make something to sell that people need or want, or provide a service people need or want and will pay for -- it's possible to produce our way out of this at some distant point in the future.

There's a word for that:

Innovation.

Seven Habits

2011-08-28T11:15:00.003-04:00

Mention Stephen R. Covey's groundbreaking, earth-shattering, paradigm-shifting book in business circles and you're often met with the kind of nod + eye contact combination that says, "All you have to say is the word "seven" and I know who and what you're talking about." I'm working my way through it now and found the following passage in the second habit rather poignant and worthy of digital memorialization:

"Because I am self-aware, because I have imagination and conscience, I can examine my deepest values. I can realize that the script I'm living is not in harmony with those values, that my life is not the product of my own proactive design, but the result of the first creation I have deferred to circumstances and other people. And I can change. I can live out of my imagination instead of my memory. I can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my limitless past. I can become my own first creator."

Hurricane!

2011-08-25T07:42:00.005-04:00

We're still about four days out from being hit so anything is possible. The name escapes me but there was a hurricane in the 90s that formed in the Carribbean, turned into the Gulf of Mexico and cut northeast across southwest Florida, parked in the Atlantic to re-intensify... and then came back around to the southwest and hit the same areas in Florida a couple days later. Nobody saw that coming.

TWC has the hurricane reaching category 4 (131+ MPH) off Florida's coast Friday morning and then taking a pretty straight shot north directly for the Outer Banks; by the time Irene gets there early Sunday morning it should be a solid 2 (96+ MPH) but losing steam in terms of intensity. It should reach MD/DE/PA some time Sunday afternoon; the question is whether it makes landfall, or brushes the coast.

Right now, it looks to be a direct hit at full category 1 status (74+ MPH). After a drought-ish June and July, we've had the wettest August on record already and Irene has the potential to drop around six inches of rain on us in less than a day. Frankly, there's no room for that kind of rainfall here so flooding is a major concern for us all. If it still has hurricane status, the sustained winds coupled with the moist ground mean downed trees will abound. They will take anything in their path with them; power lines, cars, houses, wayward runners without any damn sense...

If only hurricanes happened in the winter! We'd get around 60-75 inches of snow.

I was surprised to learn that Delaware has not actually had a full category 1 hurricane make landfall since 1903. Hurricane Floyd definitely hit us in the late 90s, but apparently it either didn't make a technical landfall here or it lost hurricane status.

With the technicalities out of the way, Hair of LiveWeatherBlogs fame had some decidedly... rude... comments for Irene early this morning:

"BUY GENERATORS ALL OF YOU . For even the deepest of fallout shelters cannot protect us...for this time of year the more you dig the quicker you hit water...for I say let us build upwards atop the highest mountain peaks to save ourselves. Prepare yourselves with batteries and sump pumps of the highest qualities and horse powers. Equip yourselves with long extension plugs capable of stealing your neighbors generator when he has his back turned to the mighty beast storm. Do NOT look this hurricane directly in the eye for she takes no prisoners ...for I have deemed here Irene...."IRENE THE WHORE OF THE SEAS" and she sleeps with all and spreads massive disease! DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE this storm THIS IS THE REAL DEAL! Get batteries and get a backup plan if you live near the shore GO WESTWARD OUR FRIENDS! Take shelter in my rain proof mullet...one thing is for sure the Lehigh Valley will spill with bubbles from all the Pert Plus I have stockpiled in my storm shelter. Pontoon boats could be the norm HEED! HEED THESE WARNINGS! flashlights, batteries, radios, water, know where your shutoffs are in your house under a worst case scenario!!! HOOZAH IN THE HIGHEST! Best of luck if you live at the shore I hope she steers away from you, but it seems less likely"

Holy Diver

2011-08-14T08:14:00.002-04:00

I am no particular fan of either the original track, nor of Killswitch Engage, however the two put together entertains me.

Random Ruminations

2011-08-13T07:41:00.002-04:00

1. Like everyone else, I knew my retirement funds would take a severe beating this past Monday, the first business day following S&P's historic downgrading of our credit rating. I read a dozen articles that weekend about how to minimize the bleeding but ultimately did nothing. I lost well over a thousand dollars for it when the closing bell rang Monday afternoon. Had I done something like sell out of all my stocks and buy into lots of bonds, I would have missed Tuesday's recovery that infused over $800 back into my portfolio. But of course, I would have also missed Wednesday's nearly $700 plunge. Alas, Thursday put that money back in and Friday made up a little more lost ground. For the week, I'm down $216.81. Considering how volatile the market has been, that's not a terrible position. In fairness though, the month-to-date is a much more dark and depressing story but I remain confident that, eventually, those losses will come back.

2. Obama is making a lot of speeches that blame congress for the debt crisis while calling for voters to pressure congress to compromise. Compromise is needed when both sides are right, or both sides are wrong. Compromise is not needed when one side clearly sees what needs to be done while the other pretends that isn't true. To illustrate this point: our government spends about $300 billion per month. Their total revenue is about $180 billion per month, leaving a deficit of ONE HUNDRED TWENTY BILLION DOLLARS PER MONTH (see page 4 of the linked PDF). Raising taxes as the Democrats have been pushing for, namely getting the Bush-era tax cuts to finally expire, would generate an estimated $8 billion per month. OK, so we're down to a deficit of about $112 billion per month to cover. What else could we do to bridge that gap?

Bush was the worst when it came to fiscal responsibility and is a big reason we are where we find ourselves; we can argue the merits and causes of his spending spree in re: terrorism but the cold hard fact is that he kicked the can way down the street. Obama, with initiatives like universal health care that increase the taxpayer's burden, kicked that can through both time and space.

The spending spree must stop. Raising taxes can help, but the bulk of the fix here is to cut spending which means certain government-funded programs need to die. Unfortunately, we're in an election year cycle; the government officials that cut programs like Medicare, Medicaid, welfare, social security and even defense spending are not likely to be re-elected as their constituents perceive their personal interests being attacked. Someone is going to have to fall on this sword if we're going to fix this. Personally, I don't really care who it is, Republican or Democrat, as long as it gets done.

... and the problem isn't repeated going forward...

This is all much easier said than done. If spending is cut as much as is needed, our economy is going to dramatically shrink (recall that one key component of GDP (C + I + G + NX) is government spending, the G) which will propel unemployment into the stratosphere. 30%? Maybe. Maybe more. Wish I had an answer to that problem; I'm not sure that anyone does, aside from relying on good ol' fashioned American innovation. Sounds more like wishful thinking than a legitimate economic theory though, no?

Yikes.

3. With the dark and depressing news out of the way, I got pulled over for 67 in a 50 yesterday and got away with a warning. Woot! I'm not sure but I think the trooper that pulled me over lives on my block.

Man, those Maryland State Trooper patrol cars are nearly invisible when parked in the grass on the right hand side of Elkton Road as you head toward Newark. I had no idea they were there until I saw a man walking out into my lane with a sternly pointed finger.

4. Football is about a month away. Woot²!

5. I love that the Phillies are the best team in baseball by record, which smears egg on the face of every such supposed national expert that tried to outsmart everyone before the season started with talk of the Phils being overrated and the Braves being a better "team". The 7.5 games Atlanta has to make up in order to tie for leading the division suggest otherwise.

6. Regrettably, the best team by record doesn't always win the WS. The Mariners won 116 games about ten years ago but failed to cross the real finish line. :(

Suck it, Patriots

2011-07-30T08:09:00.004-04:00

Waking up this morning and checking the news reminds me very much of the feeling you got when an unexpected snow day fell into your lap as a child. I may have even bleeted with glee, a little.

The Eagles under Andy Reid have been furiously frustrating to watch and listen to since 1999 as, while clearly there is intelligence and thought behind what the front office does, they miss things sometimes that piss we fans off. See a couple years ago when they figured that having a punt returner wasn't really necessary. Time, time out and challenge management have always been personal demons for Reid. His ability to sit in front of a microphone for 30 minutes and say things we already knew, in a room full of people whose jobs are to draw information out of the subject, is legendary.

For all their faults, they have one unassailable strength; they know how to get the best players in the game at given positions during the off-season. This one is no different, and in fact might be the best off-season they've had under Reid. They traded Kevin Kolb to a rather silly-looking Arizona squad in exchange for respected CB Dominque Rogers-Cromartie AND a second round draft pick; as a fan, I would have been satiated with either of those (more the existing human than the draft pick, but eh). They re-signed Jason Babin for the DL after his breakout 12.5 sack production last year (although a recent article noted that the defensive linemen who have one outrageous year in sacks rarely repeat, or usually even approach, that level of production in subsequent years). They obtained Vince Young to back up Michael Vick; they are essentially the same player at different levels of development, adjusting for stints in the slammer. With all this, I figured they were done for the year and would just kind of scheme and luck their way through the season to a likely 10-6ish finish.

Then they signed Nnamdi Asomugha and created from the ashes of a franchise-worst 31 touchdown passes surrendered in 2010, perhaps the best pass defense in the league.

Football!

Weather: As Cee-Lo Green sings, forget you too

2011-07-23T10:27:00.006-04:00

After yesterday's blistering 104 degrees, I had to get myself out the door early to run this morning or face possible... certain... death. A mere two miles done Thursday morning in heat of only 87 degrees left me feeling terrible for the remainder of the day. In checking the conditions right before I left for this morning's planned six, I almost missed the small blob of Christmas colors on the radar approaching the eastern edge of Harford county -- and growing! A glance outside, followed by a sniff a few minutes later confirmed that it seemed rain, perhaps a small and quick storm, was imminent. Sweet! I looked forward to running in, at worst, a thick blanket of sun-blocking cloud cover but more likely, a refreshing shower.

I got my cloud cover for the first three miles but by the time I turned around, the sun blasted down mercilessly in a cloudless sky with its heat, its shininess and its UV rays. I'd have sworn it looked like that bouncing yellow rollback critter of Walmart fame from a few years ago, complete with soul-crushing smiley-face and swashbuckling pirate's sword.

It's never going to be cool again.

2nd Quarter Review

2011-07-16T08:27:00.004-04:00

*snap*

*crackle*

*pop*

Not to be confused with breakfast, these are the sounds that my knees have made for years. When squatting, certainly. Sitting down, of course. Standing up, indeed. Walking, occasionally. Sitting quietly in a chair? Who'da thunk. For as much as I've come to enjoy drumming in recent years, my joints are their own dedicated percussion section. Based on their increased tempo, volume and frequency, they seem to prefer metal-focused arrangements.

These sounds appear to have caught up to me at a rather unfortunate time. I went out to run one morning a few weeks ago, made it 30 seconds and stopped dead in my tracks. Persistent, stabbing knee pain in the left that got worse with each step. I took a few days off, got ahold of some potent fish oil capsules for their anti-inflammatory properties, got a new pair of shoes and dusted off the knee braces I haven't used in 12-18 months. I've run several times since that morning with no real issue, however I still feel the shadows of that first pain so I have two rules for the time being.

1. I cannot run far
2. I cannot run fast

That means speed work, races, tempo runs, long runs and sprinting of any kind are all out of the playbook. What I have left is essentially base-running. Moderate distances (3-6 miles) of reserved paces in an effort to just keep conditioning up until this passes. With the Philly half marathon on the horizon in November as my next racing event, hopefully this passes before September's slated start of dedicated training.

1. Total Mileage: 62.5 miles/month
April: 33
May: 53
June: 44
Total: 130
Vs. Q2 2010 (161.6): -31.6
Vs. Goal (187.5): -57.5
D

2. Runs: 15/month
April: 11
May: 14
June: 14
Total: 39
Vs. Q2 2010 (46): -7
Vs. Goal (45): -6
B

3. Weight: -1.9 pounds/month
4/1/11: 285.0
6/9/11: 281.6 (-3.4)
Goal: -5.7
D

4. Two miles < 15:00
PR of 16:29 on 4/2/11; due to knee issues, this probably won't come to fruition this year.

5. 10+ mile run monthly (3)
Done: 0
F

6. 100+ mile month: No

7. PR the 5K: Yes, 1/23/11 (27:32)

8. PR the Caesar Rodney Half Marathon by 10+ minutes: Yes, 3/27/11 (2:13:56)

What this all tells me is that the number of runs are there, but the mileage per run isn't. In reviewing the distances for the three months of Q2 I notice most of them are three miles. That has something to do with the new digs. It is extremely hazardous to run more than 1.5 miles north on 213 as there is no shoulder for maybe a quarter mile, and there are snakes in the grass offered on either side. I've figured out that 2.5 laps around my block is about a mile but lap-running sucks, I'm more of an out-and-back kind of runner. There's a few neighborhoods along the 1.5 mile route I need to explore for ways to tack additional mileage on.

This actually makes me feel better about my knee situation; I hadn't realized that all I've been doing this quarter is relatively short, fast distances. Hopefully the knee issue is just my body reminding me to go long and slow once in a while. Perhaps I'll test that this morning.

New PRs:
2 miles, 16:29 on 4/2/11
4 miles, 35:38 on 4/22/11

Overall: D

"Hmmm, what can we do with this huge pile of taxpayer dollars?" "I know! Let's set it on fire."

2011-07-15T07:55:00.002-04:00

Outrageous.

I actually hope they don't go for a retrial. For whatever reason, the United States government seems to enjoy pointing the Finger of Justice at the biggest names in baseball for performance-enhancing drugs. They may point all they like, but they don't seem to be able to make contact. The whole point of this was originally to make examples of liars and cheaters for the youth of America. The point has since become, the legal arm of the United States government is not to be feared. They need only be tolerated until they screw it up for no apparent reason.

Free advice to Mr. Clemens, and hell, Mr. Bonds while we're at it: save yourselves some change and fire your high-price defense teams. They don't really need to do anything for you. Get some guy who passed the bar on his tenth time to represent you, sit back and wait for the mistrial declaration.

Oh, wait. The government has cornered the market on those types of lawyers already.

"Somehow"?

2011-07-09T13:34:00.004-04:00

According to an article in today's New York Times, over 14 million unemployed Americans have somehow become invisible. Unfortunately not because we invented personal cloaking technology, the article goes on about politics, politicians, who votes, who doesn't, economics and so on. What the article fails to really touch on is that many of the unemployed received unemployment benefits. Losing your job in 2011 does not mean what it meant in 1930. No one's saying it's a cake walk, but to get 50% of your salary without really having to do much for at least 26 and possibly as many as 99 weeks (as is the case in Maryland) is slightly better than getting nothing at all.

I wonder if unemployment benefits have killed some of our desire for and sense of ingenuity. If we can find ways to make otherwise free money work, what incentive is there to get out and do something new/better/faster/bigger/smaller/easier/lighter/stronger/longer? You might figure that, eventually, the unemployment benefit will run out and we'll be forced to innovate, it's just a matter of time. Perhaps... but it appears we haven't really hit that point yet as the unemployment number just rose to 9.2% in June, the highest level this year.

I recently heard someone make the statement that staying on unemployment is more lucrative than taking a $10/hour job. Are we really that short-sighted?

Not to beat a dead horse... but if that unemployment number doesn't start falling at a nice clip, and if the government does indeed cut spending to reduce our deficit, we're in for much bigger economic shockwaves than we've seen to date as the economy will shrink and jobs will be lost by the hundreds of thousands. The alternative is perhaps equally horrifying. We raise our debt ceiling, continue to fund programs and spending that we can't afford, and ultimately default on our debts as a country. China, their 1.4 billion people that carry more than $1 trillion in US debt, and their massive (if logistically inefficient) military would like to have a word with us if that happens. Even without the military issue, the US defaulting on any debt to China would send the value of the dollar plummeting.

Yo' Momma's So Fat...

2011-07-08T08:22:00.003-04:00

... and she's only getting fatter, it seems.

20 years ago, no state had an obesity rate above 15 percent. A study conducted by the Trust for America's Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation finds that today, no state has an obesity rate under 20 percent save for Colorado's 19.8. Obesity is defined as a body-mass index above 30.0.

Check yours here. Granted, a height/weight ratio doesn't account for lean body mass. However, if we just look at the people in any given area, that's not a big enough slice of the population to call definitive shenanigans on the point of the measurement. At work, out of roughly 400 employees, there is one guy who is obviously ripped and would probably be called obese by this measurement alone.

It'd be one thing if this were a ho-hum kind of study that had no apparent impact on the real world, however the high blood pressure and diabetes linked to obesity command huge health care dollars to fight and, inevitably, the tax payer is shouldering that burden for the poor and the uninsured. In a sense, we are being double-taxed; first, to fight off our own fatness and second, to assist others in fighting off theirs.

Anecdotally, my suspicion has been growing for the last few years that the typical shitty diet of Americans not only leads to obesity and the related health problems associated with it, but also physiologically makes us less likely to actively do things (also known as laziness). I've had four distinct spikes in weight that exceeded 350 pounds and in one case approached 400 pounds already; each was a combination of a rough time in life (say, work or financial issues) coupled with a lot of fast food and delivery-based meals with little to no cooking at home. The first occurred in the summer right after high school, before I discovered running. The other three were all post-running and yet, running didn't save me.

I figure two reasons for this. In looking over my logs from these times I notice a certain, how shall we say... complete and utter absence... of running. Lack of exercise will definitely help add pounds. But I also notice that the runs logged prior to these periods show an upward tick in weight before the running stops altogether for extended periods of time, which from memory, happen to coincide with some perceived negative event.

What do we know about fast food and delivery food from a physiological standpoint? They tend to be loaded with carbs (buns, breads, french fries, soda). Excess carb intake makes the body send out a rush of insulin to keep blood-sugar levels roughly even. Insulin makes us feel sleepy, usually for quite some time depending on the size and composition of the meal. So I'll scarf down a greasy cheese steak and some cheesy, bacony fries, maybe throw a little ranch on there for good measure, and wonder why it is that I can't muster the strength or will to rise from my ever-sinking chair an hour later, and for the rest of the night. I eventually pass out. I wake up the next morning feeling quite groggy, like a hangover without the pleasure of the preceding drunkenness, and feel weighed down by the food still sitting in my stomach from the night before, probably because it takes a lot of time for the digestive system to process 3,000 calories. Not only do I skip the morning run, but I also don't particularly feel like eating in the morning for fear of kvetching. Eventually, the digestive system clears its queue and then asks for more. I believe I am starving and just this side of food-deprived death by lunch time, so I hit the local McDonald's as I know them to be cheap (unequivocally false), and plentiful (unashamedly true). By the time I get back to the office, I am experiencing a mini-episode of what happened the night before with the cheese steak/mega fries. It is mini only because lunch was about half of the 3,000 calories from the night before.

Rinse, wash, repeat. 4,500 calories per day, more days than not, for months on end. If I ran four miles every single day (I don't think I could do that even now, being in the best cardio shape ever, without something breaking), I would burn roughly 800 calories; that brings the net calories down to 3,800 per day. According to this basal metabolic rate calculator, to maintain a weight of 300 pounds I need to eat about 2,700 calories per day. Even with running incorporated, I am tacking on an additional 1,100 calories per day. 3,500 additional calories roughly equals one pound of fat added. We're there in about three days.

Therefore, it's not exercise that helps us most keep the pounds off; it's diet. Exercise is the icing on the dietary cake of weight control; it definitely helps, but it is not the main ingredient.

My most recent trip north of 350 (topping out at 370) ended in late 2008. In early 2009, I moved into an apartment which increased my monthly bills considerably. With less money available, I kind of naturally discovered that shopping at Acme and making my own meals was much more cost-effective than eating out. Hooray for economics! I weighed in at 356 on 1/1/09. By 7/25/09, I was down to 321. By the end of the year I was at 308. There was more running happening as the year went on, but that was a function of eating better and not having that same vicious physiological cycle repeat itself more often than not.

Casey Anthony

2011-07-07T10:19:00.002-04:00

One thing to keep in mind here: there is no evidence (at least none the prosecution offered) linking her to the duct tape that apparently killed her daughter. No finger prints, no receipt, no witnesses... nadda. I'm as sure as can be that she did it too, but we can't throw people in jail just because we're sure they did it, with no evidence to back that certainty up. We'd likely be right on this case and wrong in a hundred others if that's how the justice system worked.

I get the outrage people are expressing but linking this to the OJ Simpson trial is gross misrepresentation. OJ's verdict was entirely based on the racial makeup of his jury as the evidence compiled against him was overwhelming. Casey's verdict is the product of the absence of evidence, which the prosecution had to know they lacked before they took this to trial.

New Dream Theater

2011-07-01T07:47:00.002-04:00

Spend the next eight minutes and 46 seconds checking out the new DT track from the forthcoming album. This is the first we've heard of non-Mike Portnoy drummer Mike Mangini. If you didn't know better, could you tell?

On the Backs of Angels

Cliff Effin' Lee

2011-06-28T22:53:00.002-04:00

1 run surrendered in his last 42 innings pitched. Third consecutive shutout.

Excellent.

"Some problems are just horrible to look at."

2011-06-28T09:28:00.004-04:00

There are certain sentences that you never expect to hear uttered from your math professor; the above definitely qualifies. Yet, those very words caressed my ears last night amidst the first class of precalculus and so we skipped that horrible-looking problem. I had the same professor for the just-aced college algebra, and will have him for calculus I and II in the fall as well. He is by far the best math teacher I've ever had; I'm suspicious of lenient grading, however I'm actually learning and understanding the concepts that evaded me in high school because of how he teaches.

There's something... comforting... in his deciding that a problem was more work than it was worth.

Ballad of 817

2011-06-25T09:37:00.005-04:00

I have relied on New Balance 817 running shoes since returning to running in 2008. Not the same exact pair, though, as running shoes last about 100 miles before my heavy heel-striking pattern renders them more of a liability than an asset. I rode out my current pair a little longer than normal and sat down this morning to find my next pair. The usual outlets seemed to come up empty. A deeper search reveals that some are still out there, but most are not in my size and those that are can be had for a mere $100. I normally pay about $70, so clearly New Balance has discontinued production on this model. For $100, it's sadly time to find a new ride.

I felt it only fitting to send the 817 off to where ever shoes go after they cease being produced with the following, in light of nearly four years of fairly injury-free protection.

Through the snowiest winter and the hottest summer,
plunging through paved valleys and soaring atop hill crests
we battled elements, others, ourselves.
The orange and white chariots aflame
with nary a doubt despite a million strikes.
Streets could flow with sweat and blood,
we'd find new ones and corner the flood.

We found me again with each new morning,
small steps leading to big ones
only to find, perhaps, they weren't so big.
Through Rockford Park, over the Golden Gate,
under canopies and around the snake.
New records, new races,
new places, new faces.

Track, grass, road and bridge,
concrete, gravel, trail and sand,
the terrain mattered not.
I pushed your limits with each footfall,
you pushed back and withstood the assault.
A fifth a score with hardly a blemish,
time forever ours to relish.

Only time is forever though,
and while we knew this day would come
we hoped it never would.
We must part company,
we must move on.
Your performance carried mine,
the base we built will be just fine.

Random Ruminations

2011-06-23T08:20:00.003-04:00

Read an article yesterday about Fed Chair Ben Bernanke's tightrope act with inflation vs. growth. Sure enough, the article hit on unemployment's stubborn inability to fall (and stay) below 9 percent amidst rhetoric from Washington about cutting spending. The game's not over yet, but the economic outlook for the next 12ish months looks pretty flat. That being said, Warren Buffet would say this is an excellent time to find great value in falling stock prices. ... with all the disposable income we all have spilling out of our pockets...

Read another article about a comprehensive study that identifies the specific foods most linked to weight gain, and weight loss, over time. Fattest food of them all: potato chips. Thinnest? Yogurt, perhaps surprisingly. I'd have thought a vegetable would win that honor.

I have a need to soundproof my basement so that we may rock here without fear of police brutality. I also have a need for this soundproofing to be cheap. Anyone know anything?

It would be neat if the NFL owners and players would figure their situation out and start the season on time, with a full compliment of games to be played. Football is our present-day gladiatorial battle. Its absence will surely cause mass riots, looting, violence... perhaps even crying and hugging.

I appear to be looking at an unexpected A from my college algebra course. I expected more of a B/C performance. Take that, unfactored trinomials!

Stay Classy, Delaware

2011-06-11T07:03:00.002-04:00

From an article on the in-progress Anthony Weiner (hehehe) scandal:

"A shirtless man approached reporters standing outside the family's house and began threatening them with an ax. New Castle County police took the man into custody."

Did the shirtless man think this would somehow go unnoticed among the reporters he approached? Maybe the cops would look the other way as hey, at least it isn't a gun? Golly.

"The moment I have dreaded for nearly 15 years has finally arrived...

2011-06-07T00:00:00.004-04:00

The factoring of trinomials, our most lethal enemy, have begun an invasion of my algebra class. And this time... there may be no stopping them."

I am 16 again. Trusty TI-83 resting to the left, black square cursor blinking for input. Math book askew to make room for the notebook draped across the desk. Pencil held at the ready. I write furiously as he writes. The pencil is my bat. The teacher, the pitcher. I've been knockin' him pretty good of late. He brought his stuff tonight, though. Curve balls.

Always fall for a good curve ball.

Stagflation

2011-05-25T00:46:00.004-04:00

Recall EcObamics, part I and part II? Ronald McKinnon of the Wall Street Journal is somewhat familiar with the subject matter and points out a number of harrowing possibilities for our economy.

Stagflation means demand is neither rising nor falling (yet), while price levels are rising. Take note, as you're about to hear this word repeatedly in the coming months in the news.

How can prices rise if demand is not leading the way? As McKinnon puts it, the answer is near-zero percent interest rates from The Fed. Money is simply too cheap. On the consumer end, you can't buy as much with it as you once could (a statement that is generally true from one ten-year period to the next throughout history). On the lending end, you can't make as much interest on the same principal now as you could five years ago. If demand isn't rising, you can't logically increase supply to make up for the apparent plateau in the hopes that more people will borrow from your bank; your increased supply will sit untouched and rot, perhaps after that extra supply drives your own price down just because it exists.

The near-zero Fed interest rate is a viable cause of stagflation, but so to is the somewhat frozen credit market. Remember TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program)? Part of TARP was to loan $125 billion to several large banks in the hopes that the banks would lend the money out and re-start the economy with a fresh infusion of capital. The government did its part, however somehow the lending never really happened. What are the banks doing with that money if they aren't lending it? Most have paid some portion of the money back to the government. For the most part, the rest is sitting in the bank vaults. As mentioned in EcObamics Part II, there is a legal minimum banks are required to hold; anything over that is known as "excess reserve". At this point, we might be able to use "excess reserve" and "TARP money" interchangeably.

What happens in a stagflated economic environment? Prices go up seemingly without cause, spending shrinks and consumption inevitably declines. Less consumers means less demand. Less demand means higher unemployment. In an inflationary environment, this is exactly the worst-case-scenario the EcObamic articles spoke of. We can't get jobs and even when we can, we can't afford to live.

How do we get out of stagflation? Either prices must fall (and they will, eventually -- it just may take 50 years to work itself out), or demand must increase. Demand rising happens for two primary reasons; the government decides to spend more (which would be a complete 180-degree turn from the rhetoric coming out of Washington these days), or more people are going back to work. "Work" could be for someone else, or perhaps a sole proprietorship. As the banks still aren't keen on lending, my money's on existing firms in the short term. In the long term, we're going to need to rely on good ol' fashioned American ingenuity and innovation in the birth of new businesses.

Bonds, Clemens, Armstrong

2011-05-21T10:40:00.003-04:00

Barry Bonds: Perhaps the most complete - and dangerous - hitter baseball has ever seen (possible exception: Albert Pujols)

Roger Clemens: Dominating power-pitcher with no fear of the big time, the spot light, or collecting Cy Young awards (seven).

Lance Armstrong: Laughed at cancer, racked up one or two somewhat impressive cycling wins.

All of these men currently stand charged with using performance-enhancing drugs to some extent, though each is at a different phase of the process. Bonds was convicted in April 2011 of obstruction of justice in the BALCO scandal, although the judge declared a mistrial on each of the three counts of perjury; no decision has been made by the government as to whether to re-try Bonds on those counts. Clemens was indicted on similar charges in August 2010 and is currently set for trial in July 2011. Armstrong has yet to be charged however rumors have circulated for years that he was fond of the needle. Some of his closest buddies are ratting him out to the court of public opinion as we speak, with a special set to air Sunday night on "60 Minutes" in which three ex-teammates state they witnessed Armstrong's drug use. It should be noted that each of them has ulterior motives for making such a statement, most notably Tyler Hamilton. Hamilton has written a book and is looking for a publisher. What better way to attract one than by appearing on "60 Minutes" to point a damning finger in Armstrong's direction?

Bonds, Clemens and Armstrong are all lying assholes. I speak not of guilt and justice in their legal definitions, but of reasonable conclusion based upon mountains of evidence, circumstantial or otherwise. At some point, we have to stop playing games of semantics and neverending what-if scenarios that are designed only to raise a shadow of a doubt, not because they are possible in their own right.

I support the legalization of steroids as they can be cycled in such a manner as to obtain the physical benefits without incurring the damaging side effects that have been sensationalized by the media and the government over the years. As with anything else you put into your body -- including tobacco, alcohol, sugar and fat -- too much of a good thing makes the thing no longer good. Used in moderation and under the supervision of a non-quack with genuine interest in both improved performance and long-term health, there is no reason steroids should be damned while caffeine remains largely exalted.

Should we also legalize cocaine then? Obviously not, cocaine is highly addictive and dangerous to society. Steroids are addictive only in the sense that once the improved performance is recognized, the subject may decide that more is better, leading to abuse and the long term side effects we all know and love. Roid-rage occurs in an environment of abuse, ignorance and neglect; moderate, cycled and monitored use negates this, along with other side effects.

That being said, steroids are currently illegal and have been banned by all major US sports, as well as the Olympics, for decades. Whether or not steroids are safe is not the issue; the issue is that some players followed the law and the rules with the expectation that others would as well, while "others" in fact did not and unfairly leap-frogged their well-intentioned colleagues. The natural skill and talent of each of these men is undeniable. Would they have achieved the levels they did had they not used steroids? Unlikely. Therefore, they have each snatched away victory, glory, status and recognition from those left in their wake because winning was more important than integrity. The self was more important than the team. Perhaps, the money was more important than anything.

We all face pressure to perform at a high level. Often, that pressure starts from within and is compounded from without. Cheating in order to satisfy that pressure, if such a thing is possible, reflects a weakness of character that defies the strength of talent and natural ability. Continuing to claim innocence in the face of obvious guilt smacks of a level of denial the common man likely cannot fathom. Tarnishing the sport and even your country in pursuit of victory brings shame to us all.

Out of the ashes of these three assholes, hopefully a new level of elite athlete will emerge with as much commitment to what is right as to what works. It is possible that baseball already has one in Albert Pujols, who shows no obvious signs of steroids and has performed consistently since his rookie season in 2001 (42 HR, 127 RBI, .329 BA average over 11 seasons to date). Alas, Pujols' career unfortunately spans the perceived climax and denoument of the steroids era in Major League Baseball; no serious rumors have surfaced but it is difficult to say for certain that they won't in the future.

Cycling has been crippled in recent years with steroids allegations. Floyd Landis was stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title, followed in 2007 by multiple allegations that tour winner Alberto Contador of Spain was heavy into doping. Each subsequent Tour has been marred by suspicions and allegations of doping, and each year Contador's name keeps appearing on the list of the suspected. When and from where a Tour champion will emerge to challenge Armstrong's rotting-as-we-speak legacy remains to be seen.

Sssssssssssss

2011-05-08T09:02:00.003-04:00

I don't believe I've ever seen a live serpent while running. Occasionally I see one that appears to be dead and run by it nonchalantly. Once, when passing the supposedly expired corpse on the way back home, I would have sworn the body was not in the same place or position as it had been when I passed it the first time. I might put the snake-sighting-while-running figure somewhere between five and 10 and, to the best of my knowledge anyway, all were dead.

Yesterday, that all changed. I was running across a bridge over I-95 on Rt. 213 and noticed movement where there should not have been ahead of me. I stopped dead in my tracks upon realizing a dark green snake of two, perhaps three feet in length and with the girth of a hot dog or so was wiggling in the same direction I had just been running, about ten feet ahead. It seemed to slow its wiggle as I stopped my run, which was exactly what I did not want to see. Cars drove past and I wondered which of their drivers saw me running, saw the snake, and saw me stop as though I'd run into an invisible brick wall.

Traffic was somewhat heavy so I had an eye on the snake and an eye on an opportunity to cross to the other side and give the thing as much room as it wanted. Once I saw my window I darted across and, predictably, picked up the pace. 213 is an inferior running option compared to 273 because there is a bottle neck if I want to run more than three miles. The I-95 bridge is not bad but there is another bridge just beyond it that has virtually no shoulder, aside from a very thin, grassy area that slopes hard at times and screams to me, "Come here and break your ankles on me!". I typically run when there are not many cars on the road, however that was not the case yesterday. Seeing that my normal trick of running on the road and switching lanes as needed when a single car approaches would not work, I opted for the grassy area on the left once I turned around to run home. This was the side of the road I should have been on anyway. The fact that our slithering friend from earlier seemed content to be on the right also helped.

I never saw that snake again, but he was not alone. I looked down just in time to see a black snack with yellow markings. It was about a foot or so in length and had the girth of a pencil, an admittedly small thing that barely qualified as "snake" in terms of its size. If not for the yellow markings I might not have seen it. It had speed, though, as it was ramrod straight and moving hard to my left. I had no choice but to continue running on the same path and looked down the whole way until I got back to sweet pavement.

I hate snakes.

EcObamics: Part II

2011-05-07T10:50:00.002-04:00

One of the three goals of macroeconomics is "steady" growth. Note that the goal is not stated as "the most growth we can possibly have at every point in time, ever". It's simply, "steady". Reason being, growth is measured by demand. As demand grows, price levels will naturally tend to inch upward. Price levels going up is also known as inflation. Some inflation is natural, expected and otherwise not a problem. When inflation starts to outpace the rate of growth, trouble this way comes.

There are two types of policy used to manipulate the economy. Fiscal policy is the power given to congress and the president to control government spending ("G" from our equation of C + I + G + NX = GDP) and taxes. If the government increases taxes, consumers have less disposable income and therefore aggregate demand will naturally fall as there is less money to be spent nation-wide. Increasing taxes is one half of contractionary fiscal policy; the other half is cutting government spending. When "G" falls, demand also drops.

Contractionary fiscal policy is typically used to fight an inflationary gap (where real GDP exceeds potential GDP and unemployment is most likely at or below 5%) but as stated in Part I, if we're trying to fight inflation, we're going to risk seeing a higher rate of unemployment as a trade-off. When the government cuts spending, people lose jobs in the public sector. When the government raises taxes, people lose jobs in the private sector as businesses have less income to hire people with. Since demand fell anyway when spending was cut, firms no longer have as high a level of demand to meet for the most part. There are certainly exceptions in specific markets but we're talking about the macro-economy as a whole.

The opposite of contractionary fiscal policy is expansionary fiscal policy. This is typically used to fight high unemployment and sagging demand by increasing government spending and lowering taxes. Increasing "G" raises demand on its own, and lowering taxes gives consumers and firms more money to spend. This will tend to drive up both "C" and "I" in the GDP equation.

The second type of policy is monetary policy, which falls under control of the Federal Reserve ("the Fed"). Like fiscal policy, there are both contractionary and expansionary policy tools to use depending on where the economy is at. The three main tools at the disposal of the Fed are:

1. Open market operations (buying or selling t-bills, thus raising or lowering the money supply)
2. Interest rates (raising interest rates encourages banks to borrow less money, and therefore lend out less; lowering interest rates increases the amount of money that can be borrowed)
3. Reserve ratio (raising the legal minimum banks must keep in reserve lowers the amount of money available to be lent; lowering the legal minimum increases borrowing)

What we're focusing on here is fiscal policy though. The unemployment rate topped out at 10.6% last year; it is currently around 9%. While the trend has been for the rate to fall in recent months, it just ticked back up in the most recent jobs report released last week. The government says it ticked up because of the way the labor department measures the unemployment rate. They only count people who are actively looking for work but cannot find it. Despite 244,000 jobs being created, they say the unemployment rate ticked up because there is a large supply of people who gave up looking for work previously and were not being counted. Those people are now looking again and therefore driving up the supply of the unemployed.

This is exactly why Obama and congress may be driving us straight into economic ruination. The unemployment rate going up for pretty much any reason, political spin or not, is very alarming in light of the conversation going on about cutting spending and raising taxes. Contractionary fiscal policy is used to fight rising inflation and will almost certainly cause unemployment to rise as a result. Alas, there is always bureaucratic lag to contend with; getting budgets and laws passed through congress is tedious and time consuming. The only way this conversation makes economic sense is if it is timed just right; we would want to see an unemployment rate heading down toward 6% with a solid downward trend month-over-month when the spending cuts and tax hikes are realized. If the unemployment rate stagnates or, worse, starts to trend back upward, these job-killing cuts and hikes will run full force into an already unpleasantly high unemployment rate and pretty much destroy us all.

Moral to the macroeconomic story: Pray that Obama times this correctly.

EcObamics: Part I

2011-05-06T08:31:00.004-04:00

Having received an A+ in my Macroeconomics class at Goldey-Beacom College as of... yesterday... I am now a noted expert in the field. Heed! President Obama and congress are gambling on our future with recent proposals to cut government spending and raise taxes on wealthy Americans. Not to say that they are definitely wrong to do so as it's a matter of timing, however there is real potential that they're moving too soon on these initiatives. If it turns out that they indeed moved too soon, we may see an economic crash far worse than what happened in late 2008 and the first half of 2009.

Macroeconomics is the study of entire economies; performance, structure, behavior and actions/reactions. When you hear about GDP (Gross Domestic Product), that's the hallmark of the macro-economy being measured. The three primary goals of macroeconomics are:

1. Low inflation
2. Low unemployment
3. Steady economic growth

Perhaps ironically, you can only really focus on having either low inflation (meaning price levels are roughly stable, or perhaps falling), or low unemployment ("full employment" is estimated to occur at an unemployment rate of roughly 5%; we currently have unemployment of about 9%). The steps you take to curb inflation will typically cause unemployment to rise, and the steps you take to lower unemployment will typically cause inflation to spike. Why?

The government started actively effing with the economy on the heels of The Great Depression. Prior to that, the economy was prone to great highs and, hence the name of the period, terrible lows as it was left entirely to its own machinations. We decided as a country the highs were not worth the lows and sought to level out both ends so that such wide deviations were held in check. In essence, we were willing to sacrifice growth and prosperity during economic abundance for stability and security during the down periods. Enter stage right: welfare, social security, unemployment insurance and eventually medicare and medicaid.

All these programs pushed government spending up. Government spending is a key component of GDP, which can be expressed as an equation:

C + I + G + (NX) = Total Expenditures = GDP

Whereby:
C = Consumer spending: You, me, businesses; basically anyone who buys something that is brand new and meant for the end user -- buying an existing house doesn't count toward GDP but buying a newly constructed home does.

I = Investment spending: Not to be confused with stocks and bonds, this refers primarily to businesses that invest in things like new technology and new plants or facilities.

G = Government spending: Anything the government spends money on.

NX = Net exports: (Exports - Imports)

C makes up about 70% of GDP, therefore it tends to get the most attention in driving GDP and is why consumer confidence is so critical to the economy. Of the remaining three factors, G comes in second and can be controlled more easily and directly than C so it gets a fair bit of attention as well.

Where we are with what's considered "real GDP" versus what's considered "potential GDP" for the economy determines whether we're officially in a recession or not; if our real GDP falls short of potential GDP, that's called a recessionary gap as demand falls short of supply. If our real GDP exceeds our potential GDP, we're in the opposite of a recession, known as an inflationary gap, where demand exceeds supply.

"Inflationary gap"? Doesn't that mean prices are going up? Yep. Isn't that bad? As consumers, we tend to think so however current economic theory holds that it all shakes out in the end. Tomorrow... or whenever the next time is that I'm not running late for something... we'll explore further why that is, and what this gamble by our leaders is all about.

1st Quarter Review

2011-04-30T09:29:00.004-04:00

"Running is like a silly super power that most people don't need", says a particular article in the May 2011 edition of Runner's World. The article's point is about how relatively useless running is as a hobby (and yet, even non-runners have heard of the very magazine that article appears in). How often do you really need to be able to run six miles in less than an hour, anyway? We're not getting film developed or paying exhorbitant prices for new glasses.

I've come to think of running as a quasi-spiritual experience. It makes everything OK. During my recent home-buying insanity, in which I was led to believe multiple times that we would close but somehow that never happened until the one time I was pretty sure all hope was lost, going for a run helped me stay centered and keep things in perspective. There are countless reasons like this that running is good for me, personally, but it also has an impact on other people. I now see people running the same hills on 273 that I've been running since 1999. I like to think they all had the same experience with those that I did. It starts by looking at those hills and asking oneself, "... why?". Then you do them, and realize there is something magic out there. The hills call to thee, like Israel or Mecca.

Goals

1. Total Mileage: 62.5 miles/month
January: 40.1
February: 41
March: 57.1
Total: 138.2
Vs. Q1 2010 (84.1): +54.1
Vs. Goal (187.5): -49.3
B

2. Runs: 15/month
January: 10
February: 9
March: 13
Total: 32
Vs. Q1 2010 (17): +15
Vs. Goal (45): -13
C

3. Weight: -1.9 pounds/month
1/4/11: 290.2
3/27/11: 285.0 (-5.2)
Goal: -5.7
A

4. Two miles < 15:00
N/A for Q1 due to distance training focus for CR

5. 10+ mile run monthly (3)
Done: 3
A

6. 100+ mile month: No

7. PR the 5K: Yes, 1/23/11 (27:32)

8. PR the Caesar Rodney Half Marathon by 10+ minutes: Yes, 3/27/11 (2:13:56)

9. PR the marathon: No (May not happen this year)

10. Quarterly Update: Yes

Q1 2011 vs Q1 2010 was dramatically better, but Q1 performance vs Q1 goals came up short in mileage and total runs. The reason for that is mostly related to buying this house. My free time was largely spent on paper work, following up, emailing, etc. I can see now that keeping the house in good shape is going to take more time than I probably thought it would so it's important to focus on using what free time I have as best I can. The time is there to hit these goals, I just have to be aware of it.

Part of running well is being in good physical condition. I've had something going on with my left foot since last Christmas. The toe next to the big toe is... sprained?... fractured?... broken? Something. I can run on it to the point of continuing to run the best times I ever have, but when I do I spend the next day or two hobbling around in excrutiating pain. This is the same foot that had plantar fasciitis a few years ago so it's probably a good idea to finally get this some medical attention. Q2 numbers may suffer for it but I wonder how well I might be running right now if this weren't an issue at all.

One other note: I set six new all-time records for Q1 at distances of 3M, 5K, 6M, 10M (2) and 13.1M. That's a pretty well-rounded mix of speed and endurance.

Overall: B

Jon Volkmer

2011-04-25T23:16:00.003-04:00

I spent a total of about two months at Ursinus College in the fall of 1998. I remember the name of the sophomore who lived in our mostly-freshmen dorm, Spencer, and my roommate, Chris. I don't remember much else, except for Jon Volkmer. Jon was my freshman English professor and someone I came to respect very quickly. He had that certain combination of Frasier Crane-esque intellect while remaining down-to-earth with us mere mortals. When I dropped out right around Halloween, there were only two thoughts that almost stopped me; I would never see Jon Volkmer's classroom again, and would suffer as a writer for it.

Here's why I know the second thought is true. The first, well... you'll just have to take my word for it.

Things That Should Not Be

2011-04-17T22:39:00.003-04:00

Oddly enough, both things appear on McDonald's menu.

1. 50 piece McNuggets for $9.99. Think about this for a second. Is a single person going to order this? Will there be leftovers? If so, how exactly do we intend to reheat them? If not, well... there that is. It boggles the mind. If a family orders this, are the McNuggets being used as the main course? Surely the parents who order a 50 piece McNugget box would also be the ones to spring for matching fresh green salads.

2. Double filet-o-fish sandwich. I didn't bother looking for the price on the ad, it doesn't really matter. Again... who is going to order this? You have to have a certain inclination toward the filet-o-fish sandwich to order it in the first place. I suspect it is among their least popular sandwiches on the menu. If that's true, of the 5% or whatever that ever order a single filet-o-fish, how many of them are going to be tempted to buy a double stack?

Home

2011-04-14T21:44:00.003-04:00

The otherwise inexcusable absence of words here of late is not without cause. We moved out of the apartment, stayed with my parents for a week, fired the first title company that had been screwing everything up since we started down this path (and whom my lender believes was never going to allow us to get to closing; I have no reason to disagree given how things went), hired another one on a Monday afternoon and closed on the house 48 hours later. All the props in the world to Ardent Title Co., LLC in Elkton. Likewise, all the shame and STDs in the world to PowerlinkSS in Corapolis, PA. I'm sure they're aware of it but just for the record: you're messing with people's lives when you pull shit like that. Fortunately for them, I am fresh out of thank you bombs.

Despite the near-miss, the house was worth it. We're a long way from being finished with settling in as I was unable to execute my beautifully crafted moving plan... twice... but we'll get there eventually. My primary focus for now though is getting rid of Ultra Magnus as quickly as possible. While the altered route to work is mostly highways and therefore Hemi-friendly, "Hemi-friendly" = 13-14 MPG instead of 11-12. With a 40 mile roundtrip commute every day, I'm filling up for $75 every five days. Early onset bankruptcy is waiting for me on the other side of this month if I'm still driving this gas slut by then.

1st quarter running review coming soon, there is much to report!

Caesar Rodney Half Marathon

2011-03-27T20:18:00.004-04:00

It was cold, it was dumb... but it was worth it. I had half-hoped for snow this morning as I've never done a race in the stuff, but I also knew that would probably not help my PR hopes. I've done the CR in 2000-2002, 2004, 2006-2007 and 2010 previously, the PR coming in 2001 at 2:26:44. Every time I did the CR after that, I always had it in my mind that I should probably try to beat that time but it never happened (although I only missed it in 2007 by about 45 seconds). This year, I knew I needed two things in order to PR; more quality training runs and a little help from someone crazy enough to run the race with me as a pacer. Nate stepped up and did awesome in the pacer role, especially considering that we had a 12 mile training planned for two weeks ago that didn't happen because he called me early that morning, using a voice that sounded a lot like my grandfather's thanks to the sick.

Last year's race really lit a fire in me. The race ended north of 65 degrees and was generally terrible for me from start to finish in 2:38 after the cannon fired. 2:38 is the third-worst CR time I've had -- I was offended by it, to the point of declaring on this very blog that I would either PR from my 2001 time this year by 10+ minutes or die trying. Two months after the offensive race, on a slightly cooler day with a more runner-friendly course, I unexpectedly set my half marathon record at 2:23. That was great, but the CR is my own personal Super Bowl for what ever reason. Other races count, but the CR counts a little bit more thanks to its overall difficulty. It was also the first race I ever did.

We spoke of how the course sucks in multiple ways after the race today, in fact. It's very hilly in the second half of the race; the hills are long and seemingly endless. When I do my training runs on 273, those hills suck as well but I can see where each one ends from where it begins. The CR hills do not offer that kind of reassuring hope. They just go on and on, winding and twisting through Wilmington. The course takes you through sketchy parts of the city, and the road is in bad shape for a lot of the race. Also, there's not really a great place to peel off the course and pee after about two miles. Perhaps by design.

I felt bladder issues around the three mile mark but there wasn't an opportunity along the way to address that. I used that particular sensation as motivation to run quickly, and hoped that the fluid would just be re-absorbed into my rapidly dehydrating body. I don't know if that happened but I was able to stay on the course for the whole race.

The course had a pretty significant overhaul this year from all the previous ones I've done. The hills used to start around 5.5 miles but the new elevation profile suggested they wouldn't start until around mile eight so I planned to run 10 minute miles until the hills started, then throw everything I had left at the hills. That turned out to be a complete lie. We got to the halfway mark in 1:05:49 right on schedule at 10:03/mile. Then the hills started, and didn't let up until mile 11.

I watched in elongated, silent horror as we started to lose the 10:00 pace to the hills. We got to 7 miles towards 1:11 and were just short of 1:22 at eight miles. To get my goal, we needed to run 10:26/mile for the whole race. We had jumped from the 10:03 average to 10:15 in two miles and were not showing signs of stopping the bleeding. Fortunately, a recent passion of mine helped us regain our footing. At the nine mile mark I switched off my anything-goes playlist to one that is nothing but Demon Hunter. I've used this playlist to get home on the last three miles of any 273 run I've done this year. It just works.

We started passing runners left and right. We had crossed nine miles around 1:32; we crossed ten at 1:41, doing about a 9:30 mile. It was when we crossed 11 short of 1:52 that I knew we were going to make the goal, and then some. "25 minutes for 2.1 miles", I said to Nate. He responded, "We have plenty of time."

We almost didn't. Shortly after the 12 mile mark, my left knee started feeling like someone was stabbing it; on a couple steps, it felt much worse than that, as though I might need to walk. Walking would have killed my shot at the goal though. We definitely slowed down a bit as I just couldn't put one foot in front of the other faster than a certain trot, but it was still technically running.

One last challenge loomed before sweet non-running could happen -- Monkey Hill. Monkey Hill is the cruel joke played on all runners of the CR by the race director. It is a quarter mile long, painfully uphill and terrible. In most CRs I save something for the end to be able to sprint up the hill. For this one, I just didn't have anything left than an even slower trot. Nate cheered beside me the whole way up, as did his girlfriend Carolyn, and friends Carlos and Katie from the side of the road. I couldn't muster any verbal response; all I could do was keep putting one front in front of the other and hope that I crossed the finish line before anything broke... or died. A chip time of 2:16:44 was the goal; we crossed the mats in 2:13:56, an average of 10:13/mile and a PR by 12:48.

I have never felt as ravenously hungry as I did the second I collected my finisher medal in the chute and peeled off to the side. I saw Nate head for Carolyn, Carlos and Katie but I had to make a beeline for the post-race food; I always run an empty stomach because eating before running doesn't go well for me (although the first three CRs I did, I stopped at McDonalds and scarfed two sausage/egg McMuffins on my way to the race -- ahhh, the carelessness of youth). I got in line and grabbed a slice of pizza, two bagel pieces, a huge slice of pineapple and a small carton of tea. After finding a bench for consumption and whining, we limped off to Washington Street Ale House for breakfast, beer and the ritualistic telling of our war stories. Carlos finished the CR, his first, in 1:52:21 at 9:03/mile. His wife Katie ran her first race ever in the 5K event; she had been aiming for about a 45:00 finish but came up the hill and crossed the mats in 42:18.

Next year... well, I'd like to take a shot at getting under 2 hours but that might be a little too much to hope for. Finishing somewhere between 2:05-2:10 would be sweet.

Bracketology

2011-03-25T08:12:00.004-04:00

UD got into the NCAA tournament in 1999 and DSU went up against Duke a few years back. Those are the only two instances I can think of where I watched college basketball because I wanted to. Any other occurrence has been chance, as far as I can recall. But for whatever random reason, I decided to fill out a bracket this year despite knowing nothing about any of these teams. Maybe beginner's luck would smile benevolently upon my otherwise ignorant and mostly random choices?

I had Louisville as a Final Four team; they lost in the first round. There were some other misses but none as bad as that so I remained alive. I even had the two West bracket games last night correct in that Arizona would play Duke and UConn would play San Diego State. Alas, I got both of those wrong as Arizona and UConn advanced.

The Southeast bracket is not in good shape as, while I did have BYU playing Florida with Florida winning, the other game was Butler -v- Wisconsin. I had chosen each team's previous opponent to advance from their respective games so that was a bust before it started. However, I have Florida -v- Ohio State in the national championship so there's that.

Yesterday, I believe I heard Mikey Miss of 97.5 The Fanatic fame declare Wisconsin beating Butler as a stone cold mortal lock; I look forward to the depressed quasi-whining at lunch today.

Receipt Checkers

2011-03-12T11:50:00.002-05:00

It never crossed my mind that anyone, thieves notwithstanding, had an issue with the receipt checkers stationed at retailers like Best Buy and Walmart until I happened across an article on The Consumerist this morning. Is the check annoying? Yeah, but a quick flash of your paper and you're on your merry way. You would only mind if you had something to hide, right? Apparently not.

It seems The Consumerist is full of stories about people who refuse to show their receipts, most on the grounds that there is no legal requirement to do so. The issue comes down to civil rights for most of these people; comments on certain like-minded stories relate receipt checking to blacks being asked/coerced/forced to sit in the back of the bus pre-Rosa Parks. Other comments reprimand those standing up for their rights as being simply "difficult for the sake of being difficult".

To their credit, many of those who espouse non-compliance with the receipt-checking policy state the best way to do so is politely and in a non-confrontational manner. Smile and simply reply, "No thanks" while continuing to leave the store at the same pace. If confronted, they maintain their legal stance not to have to show their receipt to anyone and if the situation escalates, they question whether they're being illegally detained. Many of these stories involve the store manager and/or the police being called.

I find this mildly amusing, up until the police are called. Yes, legal rights are technically being infringed on in some manner by the store demanding to see the receipt, but come on. There's no discrimination, no profiling, no real significant detainment happens until refusal to show the receipt occurs and by deterring the brazen thief the store makes more money. Ostensibly this keeps prices lower, allows more employees to be hired or trained, or hell, they might just keep it for themselves as is their right, but the alternative would doubtlessly encourage higher instances of theft and definitely drive prices up further. More to the point, if you want the police to solve murders and rapes and generally protect the citizenry as most of us hope they will, let's not call them to Walmart over a receipt check, eh?

Then again, if we want less speed traps then maybe we all should protest the receipt checking and get more police off the roads. Then we can all drive without fear of ticketing, do 100 MPH up Kirkwood Highway, lose control of the car when a tire blows and smash into something unfortunate. Alas, there will be no police at the scene as they're all at Best Buy a couple miles away, trying to figure out how to get shoppers out of the store without inciting a riot because someone is screaming that the store is trampling his/her rights by asking to see a receipt. With no police on the scene of a horrific accident, no one is there to direct people around the wreck so more cars crash into each other as everyone is paying attention to the spectacular wreck and not the road in front of them. The EMTs are surrounded by crashes and can't get the original driver to the hospital, who then dies. The driver's next of kin successfully sue the EMTs for wrongful/negligent death, putting the EMTs out of business and ensuring that no one receives emergency medical care, ever.

History

2011-03-05T16:14:00.004-05:00

I thought this was pretty cool. On September 9, 2009, I ran five miles on 273 in 58:57 (11:11/mile), weighing 324 at the time. Today, I ran six miles on 273 in 55:58 (9:20/mile), weighing 287.

Can't wait to see what happens in another 37 pounds.

Chris Jericho: The Man, The Myth, The Dancer

2011-03-01T03:50:00.003-05:00

Is there a more talented human? His wrestling skills were decent during a time when decent wrestling skills were somewhat rare, his mic skills rivaled The Great One's, he rubbed elbows in music with the likes of Queensryche and Dream Theater, and now he will Dance with the Stars. Stars like the original karate kid (25 years later), Diane's replacement on "Cheers" (100 pounds later) and someone named Mike Catherwood.

Who the hell is Mike Catherwood?

Also, can we trade Hines Ward from the cast for Ben Roethlisberger?

A Thing of Beauty

2011-02-26T07:11:00.008-05:00

This is the 06Z GFS model's prediction of what's going on for North America at hour 204, which would be late afternoon on Sunday, March 6. It may be difficult to tell what's happening here as the map shrunk considerably when I uploaded it, but you can click it to enlarge it a couple times.

The map shows a number of weather features, chief among them predicted temperature and precipitation type. The precipitation is known as QPF, or Quantitative Precipitation Forecast -- basically, how much water will fall on us, measured in inches. Eastern Maryland, all of Delaware, eastern PA and most of New Jersey is showing 1.25" QPF here to fall in a 12 hour span. 1.25" of water is a lot -- you've probably heard that 10" of snow equals one inch of rain. That can be true, but the snow ratio depends on, among other things, how cold it is. If the temperature is right around 30 degrees and it's snowing, the 10:1 is probably accurate as you'll tend to get the big fluffy snowflakes -- those are actually an indication that there is warm air aloft that ever so slightly melts the snowflakes as they fall. Melting snow tends to band together to form bigger flakes. This is the snow that yields snowball fights, which lead to fist fights, bloody noses, hospital trips... If, however, the temperature is colder, say 25 degrees, the snow ratio can go to 12:1 or 14:1 -- this is when we tend to get the more granular snow that is much easier to shovel because there's less moisture forming each snowflake, but more of them. If it's even colder, say 20 degrees, it's not unheard of to have 20:1 ratios (although this is exceptionally rare in the Mid-Atlantic -- the colder it is, the less moisture the air can hold so conditions have to be just about perfect between humidity, temperature, pressure and dew point).

OK, so we have 1.25" QPF showing. How do we tell if it's falling as rain or snow? The map has a bunch of blue and red dotted lines running all over. Those lines represent predictions on the geopotential meter thickness between 500 and 1,000 millibars, a function of primarily temperature and also moisture in the atmosphere. The last dotted blue line before the first dotted red line is the 540 line, which generally represents the cutoff between snow and rain (not always, but it works as a guideline). If you blow the map up, you'll see that New Castle County and most of eastern Maryland are actually inside the 534 line, meaning it's not even going to be close to a question of whether snow will fall -- it will, and based on this map, it will probably have a 12-14:1 ratio. 1.25" QPF x 14:1 snow ratio = 17.5" of snow in a 12 hour period. 1"/hour is a pretty hefty pace and can look like a blizzard if there's gusty winds as well; we're looking at about 1.5"/hour on average.

Alas, we're about 200 hours away from this having a chance to verify so a lot can change but the GFS has been showing this kind of hit for several straight runs now. Hooray winter! For what it's worth, my weather dorks over at LiveWeatherBlogs are already calling this storm a widow maker as heavy snow is seen from North Carolina straight up through Vermont.

Winter, Thou Dost Suck

2011-02-25T08:06:00.003-05:00

Several hyped storms since Christmas weekend and what do we have to show for it this year? One 12"+ storm, a handful of nuisances (< 4") and generally crushed wintry dreams on the followup to the second best winter. Most years this kind of performance would be somewhere between average to above average, considering we get one double-digit snowfall about every three years on average since the Blizzard of 1996 (hands down the best winter ever as school was closed for a week under close to 30"!). I think because there was FOUR FEET OF SNOW on the ground at this time last year, it's hard to accept anything less despite the unprecedented and historic nature of that accumulation.

Alas, we have one more chance for winter to sock us this year. Like the brightest dawn breaking through the darkest night, the 0Z GFS model last night shows the east coast covered in snow around March 6-8 in blizzard-like fashion. The cool thing is that early March has the ability to surprise us with heavy snows when it looks like the gig is up so this is not necessarily a fluke to be easily dismissed. The bad thing, from my perspective anyway, is that typically these surprise snow storms don't show up on the models a week and a half away. It's way too early to make any kind of guess or call on this, but the model is pretty aggressive for widespread snow so it's worth watching.

Wind

2011-02-20T14:07:00.004-05:00

There is a saying in running circles that hill work is actually speedwork in disguise as the basis for increased speed generally starts with stronger quadriceps and trickles down to such things as increased core strength and more flexible hamstrings. There's several ways to stimulate quad growth but for running purposes, the two best are to run hills, or to run faster.

Six mile run on 273 yesterday for the hills -> speed connection. The three miles out were roughly straight into the wind that gusted to and over 50 MPH, the return trip having the wind at my back. Splits:

3M: 32:00 (10:40/mile)
6M: 27:24 (9:07/mile)

Keep in mind, the last three miles are more uphill than down while the reverse is true for the first three. I figure the truth is somewhere in the middle but wow, quite a discrepancy. Once I saw my time at the midway point I thought there was no way I'd be under 10:00/mile for the whole run. The wind giveth, and the wind taketh away...

That wind was so fierce that several times it pushed my airborne midstride food into my plant leg when the wind hit me at an angle. I've never seen that happen as often as it did yesterday.

Nice Work

2011-02-12T07:32:00.005-05:00

Imagine my surprise upon reading that the Obama administration seeks to dissolve Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. The linked article put this position in a certain perspective:

"The two agencies buy mortgage loans from primary lenders, pool them, and sell them with a guarantee that investors will be paid even if borrowers default. The idea is to give people a chance to buy homes at affordable interest rates.

But the two nearly collapsed in 2008 after defaults and foreclosures grew. So far, they have cost taxpayers almost $150 billion and could cost up to $259 billion, the Federal Housing Finance Agency says."

In other words: The government decided to back mortgages so people could buy houses. People defaulted on their mortgages anyway, costing each American (taxpayer or not) up to $785.

Rage Defined

2011-02-09T21:24:00.002-05:00

Three letters have been the bane of my existence since 1996, minus a brief hiatus from 2007 to present: MVA. The Motor Vehicle Administration of the State of Maryland is perhaps the most asinine government body I have ever dealt with and, mind you, it's my job to deal with various government bodies every day. The MVA is slow, expensive and very clearly corrupt. To say that I hate it is the height of understatement. Casting the MVA off to Hell is to be lenient and merciful. There is no punishment within the existence we find ourselves that could match its evil.

The most recent and grievous atrocity it has committed goes as follows. I moved from Maryland to Delaware in "2007" (in reality more like 2004 but as far as Maryland need know, it was 2007). What really prompted the official move was a change in vehicles; I traded in my Grand Prix for the Dodge Ram I've driven ever since and needed to register the truck in the state I actually lived in. To complicate the matter further, I bought the truck from a dealership in New Jersey. I took my time turning the Grand Prix's plates into Maryland because I figured, hey, I'm probably never going to move back to that godforsaken state and even if I do, what does it really matter? I had insurance up until the day I traded the car in, there was never any lapse between the car and the truck and all should have been right with the world.

My parents received a notice at their house toward the end of last year from the MVA in my name, certainly not an uncommon occurrence over the years. Dad flippantly tossed it at me with a motion born more of repetition than rehearsal and said nothing. I looked at it and frowned. "Really? I haven't had a ticket in five years, what do these succubi want now?"

The notice inside stated that I owed Maryland $623.17 for the apparent lack of insurance from the date I traded the car in until the date I turned the registration tags into their office. Because, you know, when you turn the tags in has ANYTHING WHATSOFRICKIN'EVER TO DO WITH WHEN YOU COMPLETELY LEGALLY SWITCHED VEHICLES. I shrugged it off though. I had insurance coverage as I should have on the car and the truck, there was no way I wouldn't be able to clear this up with the faxing of proofs of insurance or whatever.

I found out this morning, the MVA disagrees. "I need a letter from the dealership you traded the car into, complete with VIN number, make, model, year, and the value the of the car when you traded it," said the "customer service" representative (spit). Mmmmmmmmmmmkay. I remembered the name of the dealership I bought the truck from and googled it. Got a couple phone numbers. The first was disconnected. The second went straight to a non-descript automated voicemail. There are no other numbers for this company. Anywhere.

I called the MVA back at lunch and pleaded my case. "You're asking me for proof that is impossible to get, this dealership went out of business."

"Sorry, we can't just waive this because you say that."
"I'm sorry, but I'm NOT paying $600 for this."
"We're not saying you have to pay it. You can just let it go."
"You don't understand. I'm trying to move back to Maryland, which means I need a license and registration. I'm sure some kind of flag is going to go off if I try for that, right?"
"Yes."
"OK, then you see my problem here. So what can we do in this kind of situation?"
"There's nothing we can do. You need that document."
"I want to speak to a supervisor or manager."
"They'll call you tomorrow, but they'll tell you the same thing."

God save the manager that tells me the same thing tomorrow.

Comcast: A Year Later

2011-02-07T08:56:00.003-05:00

There is a story in the Sunday News Journal about how many Americans are pulling the plug on cable because of the tough economy and rising prices. Elated as I was to have my billing issues resolved last year via blogging and a couple phone calls, the problem has come back and is now worse than it was before, a situation that helps me empathize with some of the people who appear in the story. My bill was around $100 for several months of last year as we had agreed, and then started creeping up incrementally until the email I got this morning pushed me over the edge -- $152! That is insane. I'm moving in a month and am now considering alternative options to Comcast, such as a combination of a Netflix-esque online rental service and other internet-based options for TV, or perhaps a competitor who will agree not to raise the agreed upon price in X months. Surely if Comcast would make the same commitment -- and stick to it -- that would go a long way to securing my loyalty to them.

There are two key issues here; total price charged per month, and the incremental increase as whatever promotions they enrolled me in last year expired. Frankly, I don't want to waste my time thinking, worrying or fighting about my cable and internet service charges; I have better things to do with my time, as I hope Comcast's customer service reps do. I want one fixed, reasonable price that is not subject to change.

The ball is in your court, Comcast. Let's make this right.

Weakness, eh?

2011-02-05T16:17:00.002-05:00

From the first post of the year:

"the ten mile run is a true weakness though, I haven't had a double-digit run since the Delaware Half Marathon in May."

I ran a ten miler each of the last two weekends on 273 in preparation for PR'ing the CR this year by 10+ minutes. I demolished my standing ten mile record last week by over 13 minutes; I then demolished that record by almost four minutes this afternoon. My CR PR goal of 2:16:44 or better translates to 10:26/mile. Today, on a course that is at least as difficult as the CR, or if not more, I notched 10:12/mile.

Nate ran the same ten miles on 273 last year in about 1:40, and went on to run a 2:07 at the CR on a very warm day (65 degrees by race's end, it's usually about 40). I don't know that a 2:07 is in my future, but I can definitely aim for somewhere between 2:10 to 2:15.

Beast Mode

2011-01-23T15:03:00.002-05:00

I met Nate in Wilmington this afternoon for a 5K by Kelly's Logan House. It was cold and windy, but also mostly sunny. Due to ice on the normal course the race officials switched up on us and had us run along the Brandywine to Rockford Park in out-and-back fashion.

To be honest, I don't remember many details about the race. My previous 5K record from 2006 was going to fall, it was only a question of how much it would fall by. I was intent on making it as dramatic as possible, as this very well could be the only 5K I do this year so I wanted to make it count. I started toward the back of the pack of over 100 runners and walkers but quickly found that this was not where I wanted to be. By the end of the first mile I must have passed 30 people.

Before I knew it I was at the 2 mile mark in 17:05, about 30 seconds slower than my two mile record pace. However, the last mile was mostly uphill, with a downhill finish for the last quarter mile or so. I started running the tangents of the course instead of taking the turns to save myself a couple extra seconds. There was a guy in front of me who was doing the same thing but when we rounded an uphill corner he faded behind me. As the path straightened and then came to the downhill finish I found myself just behind one guy whose description I don't recall, another guy with a bright orange jacket and a girl who I had passed earlier while she was walking but who had passed me soon after when she started running again. Using my bulk to the best of my ability, I bent my knees and let gravity pull me down the hill as fast as it could; I flew by all three of them and only needed to hold on to my momentum for the last hundred meters or so. The girl surged by on my right as we approached the mats but I held the two guys off to finish in a record-smashing 27:32, almost two minutes faster than my PR.

A guy came up to me after the race and extended his hand. "You run really strong for a big guy, I tried to take you down but I couldn't keep up with you going up that hill." We congratulated each other for a race well run and decided that anyone who does a 5k on a day like today can't be angry with how they finished as long as they got across those mats. Nate and I then headed for the local Irish pub to celebrate with beer and breakfast, a winning combination to be sure.

Next race: Caesar Rodney Half Marathon on March 27. I have about nine weeks to get myself into good enough shape to average 10:25 per mile for 13.1 miles on one of the hardest half-marathon courses on the east coast. It starts with a 10 mile run on 273 next weekend.

PRAISE OBAMA!

2011-01-22T06:31:00.003-05:00

I went back to school last year to start my degree in finance. That proved to be a well-timed and lucrative decision as Obama signed into law the American Opportunity Tax Credit, which tripled my federal tax return. It expires in 2012 so I've got two more tax years of ridiculous returns coming, not to mention the future benefits of mortgage interest and marriage.

Perhaps I'll get the matching Viper to accompany the new house:

Housing: Not A Fan

2011-01-21T08:42:00.004-05:00

From the first house we saw that we liked, which turned out to be dump-ish and icky on the inside, to the auction house I lost a bidding war over, to the complete reach on the wrong side of Rt. 40 and 213 that was sold to someone else the day after we saw it, we've landed on the fourth such supposed "house of our dreams". Oddly enough, all such HOODs are located in Elkton; not for lack of looking around Delaware, but the housing prices here are ridiculously inflated compared to Elkton.

We submitted an offer two weeks ago on a house that is a bank-owned foreclosure, meaning the property has already gone through the foreclosure process and is in the bank's portfolio to liquidate. These tend to be where the best deals are today as the banks often have anywhere from "no" to "limited" idea what they actually have on their hands. Often the people responsible for getting the properties sold are not even located in the same state so there's an emotional disconnect from the seller's point of view; of course they want to make as much as they can on it, but they're in a bit of a hurry to do so and aren't tied down in trying to get their own HOOD as a normal seller might.

We purposely went low on the offer to see if we could draw the bank's counter offer lower than it otherwise would have been. Our offer was for $11,000 less than the asking price, with an additional $5,000 back at settlement from the bank in closing cost help. The bank's counter was for $3,000 less than asking with the $5,000 back, essentially meeting us halfway. That's right about where I wanted to be so we accepted. Sounds good, right?

I accepted their offer over a week ago and yet remain sales contract-less. There are six parties involved; myself, my realtor and my lending company on one side with the bank, their realtor and their lending company on the other. I had to get pre-qualified from my lender of course, but part of the terms of sale said I had to get pre-qualified by the bank's lending company as well. No problem, just a little tedious. Then we had to get an addendum from the bank to add on to our original offer sheet since the agreed upon price was different. Those didn't come until Wednesday of this week. That apparently took 14 pages because anything remotely construed as a legal document is written by people who clearly are paid by the word. Back and forth we went with electronic documents Wednesday and Thursday until we finally got everything they needed last night.

Meanwhile, my lending company did everything they could to screw the whole deal up. Despite the pre-qualification letters they issued, they came back and said their underwriters were not comfortable with my depth of credit history. I find that highly suspect as I've had active credit and decent limits for several years now with no issues. I guess what they're highlighting is the absence of a car payment or other mid- to long-term credit purchase, but that meant they were trying to switch me from a conventional mortgage (whose mortgage insurance can be dropped after 20% of the value of the house is paid; my downpayment was about 15% so we could have dropped it in a couple years) to FHA, a federally backed product with a slightly lower interest rate but mandatory mortgage insurance at a much higher rate for five years.

Yeah... no.

I realized I had an untapped financial option in my 401(k); there's no penalty for taking a loan against it for the downpayment of a house, only interest assessed but it's interest I pay to myself, and I can set the term for up to 20 years without it counting as a loan taken from a financial institution for the downpayment. My first plan was to take the loan and pay it back immediately as I had to take this loan anyway in order to satisfy a different requirement (long story). An idea struck me so I shot an email to my lender.

20% downpayment is a magic number; by increasing my downpayment on the house, the mortgage underwriter's concern was addressed and my monthly payment dropped $50 thanks to no mortgage insurance being needed and a lower principle.

Despite all this, we still lack the sales contract and my lender has sent me an email with a list of the 4,000 things he needs to get us started on his end. I expected this would be a tedious and frustrating process. Unfortunately, I have not been disappointed.

If You're Interested in Snow and are OK with Worshipping Hair, Click Here

2011-01-19T00:00:00.004-05:00

An excerpt from a blog currently posted on the LWB main page:

allishairfee lmyhair2010 Member

[Online]

0z NAM Errors: Thurs. night Fri Storm will be widespread 4
Posted: (January 18, 2011 10:37 pm)

0z NAM according to several Mets does not make sense. It's 500mb is stronger than previous, yet the low is weaker...common sense the operational run does not match the upper air patterns...however even if the NAM initialized fine and error free, I just don't understand why anyone would think a southern slider is in order. Take heed and safety in my long flowing mullet and soon sweet nectar will pour on thee from Mother Earth's BOSOMS! The PNA & NAO are going to be positive...the storm will be closer to the coast and more north. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't make the turn and I still like 4"+ for all and even mixing issues at the shore because of the rapid intensification and the location of the low. What is there to stop this storm from being a coastal hugger, come north thine friend and reside with my mullet.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back. That was truly... something.

My weatherdorkian mates have been pumping Friday as a day of snow since last weekend. We started at talk of a MECS but quickly whittled down to a 4-8" solution. My suspicion is that 4" is about as much as we'll see, maybe 5". The pattern for the winter has been pretty consistent; we're in anything that happens, but outside the fringe of the jackpot for snow accumulation. I think we'll get hit pretty good one of these times, that may be next Monday/Tuesday, but this one seems to be modest in the dynamics that make up significant snows.

Heed my hairless call!

Snow ma' gosh²: Bride of Snow

2011-01-11T21:36:00.003-05:00

A low pressure system generally has a moisture-based event associated with it; usually rain, but if conditions are right and it's cold enough, snow, sleet or freezing rain. The lower the pressure is, the stronger the system is considered to be as there is the ability to hold both more moisture and energy in the atmosphere. A high pressure system does not have moisture associated with it, and the higher the pressure, the stronger the high.

For snow enthusiasts, we want a strong high to be present over northeastern Canada or out into the northwestern Atlantic; these are known as blockers because a low pressure system headed for a high pressure system will stop dead in its tracks and just sit there until it has somewhere to move to that isn't a high pressure system. Alas, we have no such high pressure system which is what caused me to be a little depressed about how much snow we might get.

It turns out that we didn't need one. We have two low pressure systems in play; one came across the Midwest and the other leaped across the Florida panhandle and turned north, heading straight for the North Carolina coast. We snow lovers were hoping these systems would phase, meaning combine, into one system that is very good at doing one thing; pulling moisture from the Atlantic and slinging it counterclockwise to the west.

We didn't get a phase, either. What we got was totally unforeseen; the low cutting across the country got stronger and then died just as the low in NC was getting cranked up. There was no phase to speak of but the timing worked out just right. Our only threat against significant, my-work-shuts-down kind of snow is that the back edge of the storm is closing in on us just as the storm is turning to the north. If we can stay within the pivot, we might be looking at double digit totals tomorrow morning. If we miss it, and I think we unfortunately will, the snow will end by 1am and we'll be looking at 4-6" depending on where you are.

Snow ma' gosh!

2011-01-10T23:05:00.002-05:00

I would love to get all excited for the feet of snow that is just hours away from falling across our region but alas, I don't see it. The best I can throw out there for Delaware is 4-6" and I wouldn't be surprised if it's closer to four than six. The storm is bigger than we thought, but it's also faster. The target seems to be very similar to the Christmas weekend storm that was forecast to dump on us all but only really hit Philly to Boston. This one should be slightly west of that one but we're still not even approaching a foot.

I expect snow to start sometime between noon and 3pm and go all the way into the early hours of Wednesday morning. This storm's timing is horrible as far as traffic disruption as the heaviest snow should fall between 9pm Tuesday and 3am Wednesday; the drive home Tuesday should be OK. Wednesday morning's trip to work will be fun, but I think manageable for those of us who don't lose our minds when something frozen falls from the sky.

On the snowpocalypse scale of 1-10, 1 being the schlep we've been dealt so far this winter and 10 being the awesomeness that was early February 2010, this is about a three. Considering this is La Nina, that's not horrible. Also cool: there's more snow coming early next week!

OTMR Winter Weather Advisory

2011-01-07T08:14:00.004-05:00

We're going to cover the past, present and future here to address the issue that is on all of our minds: Snow!

Past: I called for a major snow event on Christmas weekend. If you happen to live in NYC or pretty much anywhere in New Jersey, you most certainly got it as you dug out from under 30" in some locations. Philly got in on the fun with about a foot. Points south and west got screwed though, with anywhere from a trace to a couple inches. What happened? The short version is that the models had been shifting the storm further west over time with each run up until about 24 hours before snow started to fall, which was great news if you love snow as I do. The storm did not come as far west as the models suggested; those of us in New Castle County missed out on double digit snow by about 20 stinkin' miles. That was a big miss on my part, however it suggests what the overall pattern of this La Nina winter might be in that there will be major storms, perhaps even comparable to last winter in frequency and power, but that they may track further east than what the models generally suggest.

For the record: La Nina winters tend to be relatively snow-less for the mid-atlantic region, and especially extreme SE PA, Maryland and Delaware. These are the kinds of winters where Virginia and North Carolina to the south can get hammered with snow while it rains or does nothing up here. It is the opposite of an El Nino winter, which is what we had last year that helped create record snowfall for the I95 corridor. That being said, it is quite rare to have a massive snow hit like NJ/NYC saw over Christmas weekend during La Nina.

Present: There's about an inch of snow on the ground in Newark right now. That's about all I expect out of today as our clipper system from Canada moves off the shore. What's interesting is that there's another system coming right on the heels of this one that is currently around Tennessee and Kentucky which may give us another snow Saturday afternoon. I expect that to be a 1-3" event at most.

Future: What may give us more short term snow Saturday is the primary thing that may ruin our chances at having a significant snow Tuesday into Wednesday next week. We're about five days out so there is not a high level of model agreement at this point; the Canadian model shows us getting blasted with snow, easily a foot or more. A couple other models show a moderate hit in the 4-8" realm. The GFS shows our next system all but completely missing us, but it is trending towards a hit of some sort and that's OK; this far out, it's really the trends you want to look at instead of the what the models are literally saying individually. What happens with this clipper system today and the second system tomorrow is critical to how next week shapes up; we should have a pretty good idea on what's going on Sunday night into Monday morning's model runs. The key thing to remember is that the last storm modeled west but hit east; if the models start inching this next system to the west (generally always a good thing for more snow), it's almost a warning sign that it's not going to hit this area very hard.

2010 Review/2011 Goals

2011-01-02T11:08:00.010-05:00

2010 was by far the best running year I've ever had; no other year comes remotely close by any measurable standard. It shows as I've been inundated with comments at work, "You've lost a lot of weight!" lately. I seem to lose weight in ten pound increments; I hung around 300 for four months before plunging down to 290, where I've been for about six weeks now. I imagine it will take some time to get the next chunk out of the way as I've noticed the colder it is, the harder it is to lose weight. For example, I was losing weight at better than a pound per mile run over the summer (obviously most of it water but when the weight holds up over time, fat is being used as well); during the winter I'm getting well under a pound-per-mile-run return, more like half a pound.

Pretty much every month is full of new records set at various distances; I don't know if those records will continue to be set at such a pace in 2011 but to keep track of them I've redesigned the blog and added the Personal Records section. Treadmill running doesn't factor into these records as I will never race in conditions as favorable as what the treadmill offers; controlled temperature, no sun/rain/snow, no wind resistance and no hills. The mileage counts in my tally but I ignore the times for Records purposes as it's just this side of cheating in my opinion.

There were a couple of minor injury blips along the way but the increase in volume and frequency easily accounts for that. What I take away from this is that when issues crop up, it's better to take the preemptive week off instead of trying to jam four or five outings in and risk exacerbating the problem. Off the top of my head I can recall three distinct week-plus periods of non-running in the midst of the most productive year I've had so it's possible to incorporate adequate down time and still kick ass.

2010 Goals
*Total Mileage > 500 (42 miles/month)
*Total Runs > 150 (12.5/month)
*Weigh < 275 (-3 lbs/month)
*10 races, any distance
*2 miles < 17:00
*Integration of dedicated speed work once per week (track, intervals, etc.)
*One 10+ mile run each month
*Quarterly-ish updates on metrics

2010 Performance
Total Mileage: 546 - 109%
Total Runs: 149 - 99%
Weight: 287.4 - 65%
Races: 3 - 30%
2 miles: 16:32 - 103%
Speed work: Negligible
10 mile run/month: 5/12 = 42%
Quarterly updates: Done

Four home runs, a respectable job on the weight and a trio of abysmal failures in races, speed work and 10 mile runs. I previously posted that races and speed work became inconsequential; the ten mile run is a true weakness though, I haven't had a double-digit run since the Delaware Half Marathon in May. Considering that I failed to hit any goal in 2009, this is dramatic improvement, overall. Let's see how it rolls into the new year.

2011 Goals
Total Mileage: 750 (62.5 miles/month)
Total Runs: 180 (15/month)
Weight: 265 (-22.4 pounds, 1.9 pounds/month)
2 Miles: < 15:00
10+ mile run monthly
100+ miles logged in a month
PR the 5K
PR the Caesar Rodney Half Marathon by 10+ minutes (< 2:16:44)
PR the Marathon
Quarterly Updates

2010 was not just my best running year, it was my best year period; I believe running well was the catalyst as I felt something fundamentally change that I can yet not describe. For a reason that I don't claim to understand, it all starts with pounding the pavement consistently. In the absence of running, everything falls apart. If running is as it should be, life is a piece of cake.

Nowcasting Snowy Awesomeness

2010-12-26T09:06:00.010-05:00

My weather dorks over at Liveweatherblogs started whispering about snow on Christmas last Saturday. What they saw was the extended model run by the Euro, one of the better long range forecasting models, that shows an explosive storm for the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast on Christmas. No other primary model (two in the US, one in Canada, one in the UK) showed that solution but evidence from the Euro was compelling. Why were the other models, especially the US ones, missing this? What is about to happen to us is very complex, in a complex La Nina forecasting season; several pieces of energy and a few low pressure systems had to do certain things to come together for what is referred to as anything from a MECS (Major East Coast Storm) to an HECS (Historic East Coast Storm).

The short version is, the US models were not predicting that the several things that had to happen in order for this baby to come through for us would actually happen. They lost a low pressure system crossing the Tennessee Valley that needed to pick up moisture from the Gulf of Mexico. They phased multiple systems together at the wrong times and sent our storm sliding out into the Atlantic near North Carolina (which is typical for a La Nina year; Virginia to South Caorlina, even parts of Georgia can get hammered with snow system after system while those of us well north get nothing or worse, rain). Further, for a Nor'easter to take hold there generally had to be a high pressure system over the North Atlantic to "block" the low pressure system from sliding off the coast at any point. Even right now on the doorstep to MECS/HECS goodness, we lack that High pressure system; it's actually another Low that's keeping this one in place, a very rare phenomenon.

Our good friend, the Euro, however, showed most of these things happening because the Euro's long range forecasting strength is in predicting how different weather pieces fit together over the long haul. Until Thursday morning, anyway. While the other models were still showing no storm for us, the Euro had consistently showed a massive hit until the Thursday morning model runs (most models run four times per day). All of the sudden, the Euro turned on us Thursday morning and sent this storm sliding out into the Atlantic like most of the other models. We were betrayed! The mood was grim over at LWB, many of us (myself included) thinking we had lost our last shred of hope for a Christmas miracle for a MECS/HECS type hit. There was some question as to whether we would get even a trace of snow at all at one point as for about 18 hours or three full model runs, no one showed us getting anything significant.

As the weather in California and Las Vegas that had made it rain out there for days on end moved east into Arizona and headed for Texas, the GFS model started to pick up on a more westerly track for the eventual Low that would organize off the Southeast coast of the US; all the models agreed that there would be a Low, it was just a question of where the Low went and at what angle. Our problem as snow lovers was the Low was placed too far east and had to make a very sharp, one-chance-in-a-hundred type of turn up the coast for us to get any. The GFS suddenly showed that exact turn happening as of Friday afternoon, resulting in the same picture the Euro had given us days earlier. Ironically, the Euro still showed a miss at the time the GFS caught on. In essence, what we found is that the Euro handed its solution off to the GFS as the timing changed from long term forecasting to short term.

As the storm is within hours of starting at this point, we're now in what's called "nowcasting" mode -- the models are pretty awful at trying to predict what happens in the next 6, 12, even 24 hours. This is where meteorologists worth their weight shift from reading the models to reading what's actually happening; radar, doppler, water vapor and barometric pressure maps all are key when Nowcasting.

I said before that we were looking at 6"+ this weekend. Let me clarify:

NYC: 20"+
Trenton: 18"+
Philly Metro: 14"+
Wilmington: 12"+
Atlantic City: 16"+
Dover: 10"+

NYC is going to get hammered; depending on how this thing tracks over the next several hours, Boston may get it even worse. My numbers are all lows; there is a significant possibility for locally higher amounts.

Snow should start in northern Delaware by noon today, intensify around 3pm to 1-2" per hour straight through 10pm tonight and taper off overnight. It will be very windy with gusting to 50 MPH. I expect this snow to be of the fine, granular type as opposed to the fluffy, great-for-snowballs sort, which means it will be blowing across plowed roads in days to come.

MECS/HECS indeed my friends!

Marathon Training

2010-12-24T10:14:00.003-05:00

From an article in January's Runner's World featuring the Brooks-Hanson Distance Project:

"Sometimes running when you're tired isn't a bad thing. Once your body adapts, there's a callusing benefit. You just have to get through a period of feeling pretty crappy in all your runs." - Keith Hanson, the younger brother of Kevin Hanson, founders of the Brooks-Hanson Distance Project that has helped bring American elite distance running back from the brink of obscurity over the last ten years.

Seems kinda obvious that you have to push through times when you don't want to, but it helps to reinforce the benefits of doing so. The Hanson focus in marathon training is to create what they call cumulative fatigue; it's not one particular run, or one particular week or even month that assails your energy stores, but a habit -- perhaps a history, over a long enough period of time -- of creating that tired feeling that must be overcome by every runner in any distance race. They don't want you doing typical 20+ mile runs unless you're an elite-level athlete. For the masses, their marathon program tops out at 16 miles but in their eyes, that 16 mile run represents the last 16 miles of a marathon, not the first.

Random Ruminations

2010-12-22T08:52:00.005-05:00

1. Week 16 rankings to follow at some point this week in the aftermath of the best Eagles comeback victory ever. Mini-recap:
*Vick TD pass to Celek in which NYG DB goes for the pick instead of the tackle; Celek so surprised to find himself in the open field, he randomly changes direction
*Akers' onside kick with 7-ish minutes to go that apparently no NYG saw coming, because Andy Reid has never used onside kicks in non-obvious-yet-possible spots before
*Vick carving through NYG defense for nearly 100 rushing yards over next two drives to throw one TD to Maclin, run one in himself
*DeSean Jackson muffs the Matt Dodge punt at first, scoops it up, taunts Giants players for 65 yards to the house

2. Won another card at Delaware Park for a two-week streak. Certainly better than going 0-12 prior.

3. White Christmas: We will see snow of 6"+ this weekend, it's only a question of how much more, and when it starts at this point; may miss out on Christmas day itself as models slow the approach of what could be a monstrous snow storm for I-95 corridor. More to follow Thursday night most likely as model runs approach 48 hours.

4. Relegated to treadmill duty a few times this month due to work + cold; not as horrible as I remember, but still missing that "Hey, I'm running outside!" edge. Covered three miles in 25 minutes last week which is a ridiculous record, but treadmill running is like 75% effort of outdoor running.

5. Housing: Had our sights set on another house after losing the auction, only to find it was snatched up last week. Currently nothing on our radar and no time to continue the hunt for the remainder of this year, but we're back at it in January with a scant ten weeks before the lease runs out.

6. Cliff Lee: The Phillies now sport four of the top ten pitchers in all of baseball. Imagine being any team at the beginning of a four game series that starts with Roy Halladay. "All right, so we're probably not going to beat him, but then we've got, let's see... Cliff Lee... Roy Oswalt... Cole Hamels. Well, we might be able to take Hamels..."

7. Rocking: Left wrist has been nearly unusable Monday morning after Sunday drumming for several weeks. I've been wearing a brace on it during the week to keep it immobile and also while drumming, to not much avail.

8. We don't need no stinkin' drummer: Saw an article that asked Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci what he learned this year; "Don't let your drummer fill in for another band." DT is supposed to return to the studio in January to record their next album, no word yet on who will take Portnoy's spot.

Week 15 Rankings

2010-12-17T21:30:00.002-05:00

Guess who finally won their first card at Delaware Park last week!

It was me.

I think I figured out a way to play this and not just toss $10-$20 away every week. It's true that this is the weirdest NFL season most people can remember, with teams that have no business being on the same field as other teams mopping the floor with said juggernauts from time to time. However, that's like one or two games per week. In non-bye weeks there are 16 games so ostensibly there's 14 other games where if you know a little bit about football, you should be able to get some of those picks right. Since you never know which stupid team will play the role of the spoiler, you pick all 16 games in batches. Last week I threw down $20 between four cards, picking top to bottom, and hit one.

Now, I doubt I will win one card every week, but I also have to think there will be some weeks when I get more than one card right. It's a bit late in the season to have figured this out, if indeed it's a viable playing option and not just a coincidence, but I figure picking who I want to pick and playing every game instead of trying to avoid certain ones because of nagging worries about an upset gives me a better shot overall. We'll see!

1. New England (2) - OK, I admit it. They're playing like they're the best team in the league right now. Please note: some of the best teams have defensive flaws this year, this is one of them.

2. Atlanta (1) - Also flawed defensively, but they do nothing but win.

3. New Orleans (4) - So much for the AFC being so much better than the NFC this year.

4. Pittsburgh (5) - They still need a running game. ... or do they?

5. Baltimore (6) - Yuck, OT to beat Houston? I have half a soft spot for the Ravens but geez, they're taking a turn down Fraudulent Boulevard of late.

6. New York Giants (10) - So much for being inconsistent, they're now 3-0 in as many weeks. You could say Sunday's game vs. Philly is somewhat important though.

7. Green Bay (3) - Aaron Rodgers is clearly the MVP of this team, since it found a way to lose to Detroit in his absence.

8. Philadelphia (9) - Vick is still impressive, but the Philly D is rather weak these days (not entirely due to injury, either).

9. San Diego (13) - Who'da thunk they could have broken into the top 10 for how awful a start they had? Apparently Vincent Jackson makes all the difference.

10. New York Jets (8) - Demoralized vs. New England, outright embarrassed against Miami. "Playoffs?!... Playoffs!?"

11. Chicago (7)
12. Tampa Bay (12)
13. Kansas City (11)
14. Indianapolis (17)
15. Jacksonville (18)
16. Oakland (14)
17. Cleveland (15)
18. Miami (20)
19. St. Louis (16)
20. Houston (19)
21. Tennessee (21)
22. Dallas (23)
23. Minnesota (22)
24. Detroit (27)
25. Washington (25)
26. San Francisco (28)
27. Seattle (24)
28. Denver (26)
29. Arizona (30)
30. Cincinnati (29)
31. Buffalo (31)
32. Carolina (32)

Week 14 Rankings

2010-12-12T08:35:00.003-05:00

The NFL's ability to have meaningful and compelling matchups every week is stunning. Two weeks back it was ATL -v- GB for NFC supremacy. Last week it was NEW -v- NYJ for the AFC East (if not the AFC itself). This week we have winnable-by-either-team games between PHI and DAL, NYG and MIN, NEW and CHI, and OAK and JAX (??) that have big playoff implications. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

1. Atlanta (1) - Their last loss was in week 6 to Philly. They've won every game since then. But for reference, it was Kevin Kolb who beat them.

2. New England (4) - If Brady gets another Super Bowl, does he enter the realm of Joe Montana for best QB ever? In a word, yes. If he gets another after that, he wins the conversation hands down.

3. Green Bay (5) - Donald Driver's TD catch against SF is one of the best I've ever seen. The man broke three legitimate tackle attempts and bullied his way through three more defenders five yards out to score.

4. New Orleans (6) - Solid lock for the first wild card spot in the NFC at this pace.

5. Pittsburgh (7) - Their running game needs to re-establish itself if they're going to make a run into the playoffs.

6. Baltimore (3) - Flacco's attempt to become a top flight QB means he needs to beat Pittsburgh no matter what. He lost.

7. Chicago (8) - The Bears have the roughest homestretch schedule; vs. NEW, @ MIN, vs. NYJ, @ GB.

8. New York Jets (2) - That was the most humiliating game for a legitimately awesome team I've seen in some time. And probably a learning experience for Rex Ryan.

9. Philadelphia (9) - The offense is doing what it should. The defense is scarily porous. Suddenly high-scoring Dallas presents a problem this week.

10. New York Giants (12) - There go the Giants, being consistently inconsistent; they're 2-2 over the last four with a crushing defeat and ridiculous win at the bookends.

11. Kansas City (10)
12. Tampa Bay (13)
13. San Diego (11)
14. Oakland (19)
15. Cleveland (16)
16. St. Louis (18)
17. Indianapolis (14) - When's the last time Peyton had a three game losing streak?
18. Jacksonville (22)
19. Houston (17)
20. Miami (20)
21. Tennessee (15)
22. Minnesota (25)
23. Dallas (24)
24. Seattle (28)
25. Washington (21)
26. Denver (23)
27. Detroit (26)
28. San Francisco (27)
29. Cincinnati (29)
30. Arizona (30)
31. Buffalo (31)
32. Carolina (32)

Housing II: Electric Boogaloo

2010-12-08T07:20:00.006-05:00

I knew it wasn't meant to be as soon as I pulled up on the auction site and saw ten cars there already. I was half an hour early, uncharacteristically, and though there were five properties being auctioned off, if roughly two people were here for each one already there was going to be a bidding war. For the price-conscious buyer such as myself, that did not bode well. Within that half hour window the cars doubled to twenty and effectively made the road one lane for traffic with bumpers jutting out randomly from either side.

Sure enough, I got to my maximum number very fast once bidding started, and someone outbid me by ten grand immediately. The auctioneer looked up at me and must have registered my look of retreat as he halved the next increment to five grand. I shook my head; he could have made the increment one dollar and I wouldn't have gone for it. In my left hand was a manilla folder with a letter from the mortgage company certifying me for exactly the amount I had bid. For giggles I had asked the mortgage guy what the maximum amount was that he could pre-approve me for. He ran the numbers and said, "Roughly $75,000 more." I then understood why the housing market has tumbled. There is no frickin' way I could handle a mortgage for $75,000 more than what my pre-approval letter said, I'd be in bankruptcy inside of a year but yet there sat a man in a very nice suit, in a very nice conference room, with very nice furniture, trying to suggest that I was selling myself short. He didn't push it though; I asked for my specific number and made sure that's all my letter said.

The auctioneer then tried to bait me by dropping to a mere $2,500 increase in his ridiculously incomprehensible auctioneer-speak, a number that was in fact $12,500 over my pre-approval number. I was indeed tempted but as he pleaded with me to take the plunge into fiscal disaster, all I could really see was the giant yellow "AUCTION!" signs posted on the property right now, likely the result of the previous owners making a similar mistake in loving the property more than their wallet should have allowed. I shook my head again and again; they were not interested in letting me off the hook with one simple "no", it would apparently take several. I took a step back to underscore the fact that I would not bid again. He turned back to the previous bidder and declared her victory. His sidekick lowered his voice and said, "What's your bidder number? I'll take your information as an interested party in case something happens." I showed him my card but mentally shrugged it off; the terms of the auction were very clear, if you were the winning bidder you basically could not back out of the deal for any reason.

Thus, we're back to square one. There is a property well into Cecil County that we're focusing on now. It is outright theft at the current listed price; I need that to come down a bit further, and then I need to trade my 12 MPG truck for something that starts at 25 MPG. As I recently said to Dad, "I can't complain about my fleet of cars over the years so if I have to take a reasonable approach for the first time since I started driving in order to land a sweet house, I'll do it."

Sounds more like a threat than a concession, no?

Take That, Headphone Nazis!

2010-12-05T08:36:00.005-05:00

Once in a while I like to go for a run. While on these runs I enjoy listening to non-monotone voices and sounds compiled into "songs". Certain of these "songs" at least give me the illusion that I can run further, faster, or just forget the running thing altogether, spread some sweet wings and fly. I've never doubted or questioned the validity of music while running. They just seem to go together naturally like peanut butter and jelly or donuts and milk. Some of my best runs this year have admittedly been sans music but I have no intention at this time to make the transition from music to non-music on any kind of permanent basis as those runs were done by necessity as opposed to choice.

According to Cracked (probably the best website I don't read as often as I should), certain non-drugs raise our tolerance of pain. Check out #4 of six, among others:

It turns out that listening to your favorite music -- even if that music is death metal songs specifically about pain -- allows you to tolerate up to twice your normal threshold of pain. Basically, the amount of pain you think you are feeling drops significantly.

I would suggest that death metal songs specifically about pain will have adverse effects on your psyche down the road after enough repetitions -- listen to Dyer's Eve by Metallica on loop for an hour and see if you don't hate your parents at some point, regardless of the quality of your upbringing -- but I definitely agree that whatever music you like can make things easier to deal with in the short term. There was an article recently in Runner's World featuring a conversation about pro-headphones vs. anti-headphones. The anti-headphone argument comes in two primary parts; one is a safety issue (if I wear headphones I'm less aware of what's going on around me and therefore more likely to get splattered into little bits by equally inattentive drivers who are no doubt talking on their cell phone, texting someone, or perhaps watching a full-length feature film while driving), the other is a self-awareness issue (if I wear headphones I'm less aware of what my own body is telling me and therefore more likely to injure myself and/or ignore its warning signals).

Hogwash on both counts. First, there is this thing called "volume control" that allows one to reduce the music to less than maximum decibels, thus increasing one's audio awareness to the surrounding area. Having avoided being shot by a drunk youngster and rammed by minivan over the years, I can personally attest to the effectiveness of decreased volume in preventing running catastrophes. Second, I wear the headphones to in fact drown out the voice that tells me I'm in pain and should stop running because that voice is both wrong, and a wuss. If I listened to that voice I would never go for these runs in the first place. And honestly, an injury severe enough to stop me from running is not going to be ignored because I'm rocking out in my head. When I felt the first symptoms of plantar fasciitis in 2007, I did try to run/walk through it at first but realized a mile or so later that something was seriously wrong and stopped. No music was going to convince me that I should ignorantly push through the crippling pain in my heel with each footfall short of my life depending on it. And then, I would not need music; I would have good ol' fashioned adrenaline.

Incidentally, I found #1 on Cracked's non-drug pain-killing list interesting as well. You?

Full Ass Week 13 Rankings

2010-12-01T21:45:00.005-05:00

I miss having free time, and it will only recess further into the depths of "life". At least, my friends, there is still room and ability for the Great Sunday Respite, a dish best served with the following ingredients:

1. Friends of the 20 year variety.
2. Football of the mostly unpredictable sort (although costly in the long run at DP)
3. Beer
4. Rocking

Rankings!

1. Atlanta (1) - They hereby win Team of Most Endurance in holding 1st place for several weeks now. No one actually thinks they're the best team in the league, yet here they've stayed. Hmmm.

2. New York Jets (4) - Winners of four straight. How often does that happen these days?

3. Baltimore (3) - Solid win against Tampa, if you believe Tampa is a decent team. I don't.

4. New England (7) - I ask again: Why must they be good at being good?

5. Green Bay (2) - A respectable effort against Atlanta but the better team won.

6. New Orleans (6) - Waaaaay too close of a game against a fraudulently rebounding Dallas "team". Almost ruined my holiday!

7. Pittsburgh (10) - I feel like this is the best team that won't go as far as it should this year. Make the playoffs, lose to someone they shouldn't in the second round.

8. Chicago (9) - Whores.

9. Philadelphia (5) - Whores, also.

10. Kansas City (12) - Show me one more of a good nature and I'll reconsider having wildly leapt from your bandwagon.

11. San Diego (15)
12. New York Giants (13)
13. Tampa Bay (10)
14. Indianapolis (11)
15. Tennessee (14)
16. Cleveland (17)
17. Houston (22)
18. St. Louis (19)
19. Oakland (16)
20. Miami (21)
21. Washington (18)
22. Jacksonville (20)
23. Denver (24)
24. Dallas (26)
25. Minnesota (27)
26. Detroit (23)
27. San Francisco (28)
28. Seattle (25)
29. Cincinnati (29)
30. Arizona (30)
31. Buffalo (31)
32. Carolina (32)

Housing: A Saga

2010-12-01T07:33:00.003-05:00

Thanks to a $40 rent increase last year that did not sit well with me, I vowed to move to a house instead of renewing my lease. The plan originally was to land a starter home somewhere around Pike Creek and then move back to Cecil County around the time that the kids we don't yet have are ready for school, perhaps seven-ish years hence. Our search yielded frustrating results; we generally hated the houses in our price range while houses we liked were outside our range. Dianna then randomly asked, "Did you check what's for sale in Elkton?" An arched brow and a quick change of zip code on the web yielded interesting results; one can purchase much more house for the same money in Cecil County compared to New Castle County. We found a couple houses we liked and got a couple showings scheduled.

Our realtor snuck a couple listings in that we hadn't considered, including an auction house that has since become The House of Our Dreams. The only problem we have with this house is that it goes to auction next week while we're just getting our financial ducks in a row. I meet with the mortgage company this Thursday to show them My Life and hopefully receive a letter certifying my worth as a home owner in return. The terms of auction dictate closing within 30 days of the auction. I had originally thought I might have cut it a little close on timing with about four months to go when we got serious about this but if all goes "well", I'll have both a mortgage and rental going for a few months. Yay... ?

That Guy

2010-11-25T23:00:00.004-05:00

He has nothing; the sign he holds tells you as much. He stands on the corner because there is nothing left for him to lose, for him to care about. He has no dignity, he has no honor, he has no self-respect. There is nothing he will not ultimately do, eventually talk himself into, because he is forced to do whatever he has to in order to just survive. Therein lies the difference between he and most of the rest of humanity, at least around here.

He wears a blanket in the shivering cold. You think at first, he chose to stand on that corner, in that blanket, because he felt it was the best choice available to him. No; he has no choice available to him, he has nowhere left to turn. Surely he's made historically bad decisions; drugs, business, women, men, whatever the case may be. And yet, there he is, a man like any other, except that he shows the whole of his humanity to all while the rest of us shield ours to one extent or another.

He needs someone to believe in him. This guy lacks any of a number of traits, skills or abilities and remains cast aside like so much forgotten meat. And yet, if you lock eyes with him for even an instant, his desperation will subside and he'll ever so slightly nod to you, not to try to convince you that he knows you, but because he remembers the other part of his humanity, the part he doesn't get to show often. He may appreciate that brief respite, or he may despise it; you'll never know, though you may very well guess.

Even when you drive past him, then wish with all that you are that you hadn't.

But now it's too late. You now know what it is to miss an opportunity that will not, cannot, present itself a second time. It is a horrible thing to know, but it inextricably burrows itself within your soul. The next time, should there be one, you will not drive by. If the mother of your children is mid-birth, you will stop anyway. You will know, one way or the other, what that guy is about.

Half Ass Week 12 Rankings

2010-11-24T20:40:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm staring down the barrel of a full morning and afternoon of footfalls, footballs and festivities so commentary will be sparse past the top 10.

1. Atlanta (1) - Close call between the top two spots this week...
2. Green Bay (2) - ... luckily they face each other Sunday to determine the top dog.
3. Baltimore (6) - Home game against Tampa this week looks like a win but smells like an upset.
4. New York Jets (3) - They should beat Cincy, but they've gotten by on slim margins three weeks straight. Letdown?
5. Philadelphia (4) - A win against Chicago (whose defense is tied at 1st with GB's for surrendering a scant 14.6 pts/game) this week suggests Philly can run the table if they stay healthy at the skill positions.
6. New Orleans (8) - Speaking of points per game surrendered, they're only allowing 17.
7. New England (5) - They have only two losses; easily could be four though, making this what I'll call a fraudulently good team (mostly because of the defense).
8. Pittsburgh (10) - Thought Oakland had a shot at making a game of it in Pitt. I was wrong by about 32 points.
9. Chicago (12) - The offense is very bland but the defense is strong enough to carry the team.
10. Tampa Bay (14) - Raheem Morris needs to show us something in Baltimore this weekend.

11. Indianapolis (7)
12. Kansas City (15)
13. New York Giants (11) - So starts the late season slide into mediocrity?
14. Tennessee (9) - I like Jeff Fischer but the man seems to attract drama
15. San Diego (17)
16. Oakland (13)
17. Cleveland (18)
18. Washington (21)
19. St. Louis (16)
20. Jacksonville (23)
21. Miami (19)
22. Houston (24)
23. Detroit (20)
24. Denver (22)
25. Seattle
26. Dallas (30) - I'm still not buying this resurgence under Jason Garrett.
27. Minnesota (26)
28. San Francisco (27)
29. Cincinnatti (28) - They had Buffalo owned through about 2.5 quarters, then the defense quit.
30. Arizona (29)
31. Buffalo (31) - The offense is starting to look consistently better than "horrible".
32. Carolina (32) - On my tracking sheet in Excel, ATL and GB are tied at +10. Carolina is ranked dead last by three at -16. This is a historically bad team (but they do have a win!).

Week 11 Rankings

2010-11-20T18:37:00.003-05:00

My fiancee, angel that she is, found a pop up on our computer early last week. "It wouldn't let me do anything," she said. I took a look when I got home and found the same -- something called Windows Security 2011 got onto my system and went so far as to prevent any browser from being launched (at least temporarily) while one annoying pop-up after another appeared. Each one told us someone was hacking into our computer as we spoke, raping our women and enslaving our children, and that if only we would pay this otherwise anonymous company some money the internet would be restored to us thusly. There's a phrase for this; "hostage situation". After trying any number of anti-virus/spyware programs to remove this bugger to no avail, I brought out the big guns and reformatted/reinstalled on Thursday and have been restoring our system ever since. It's been several years since I had to take that route with this machine but it might have been for the best; this is certainly the best this system has ever run.

Anyway, that's my story as to why these rankings are late and blog posts have been absent this week. We have much to cover, including the single best fantasy football performance by any quarterback, ever, in one Mr. Michael Vick this past Monday night. I thought 6-10, maybe 7-9 was the best Philly could hope for this year prior to Week 1. I am now cautiously optimistic that they can make the playoffs. If they beat the Giants Sunday night at home, and I think they will, I may well proclaim them the new opponent for ATL in the NFC championship because that offense looked damn near unstoppable Monday night, and that is not hyperbole given the 52 points it put up.

1. Atlanta (3) - Say what you will about being top-billed, but they're 7-2 and really should be the only one-loss team in the league right now if not for a Week 1 OT loss to Pittsburgh.

2. Green Bay (4) - Bye.

3. New York Jets (7) - In the last two weeks they've needed OT to beat Cleveland and Detroit, who are a combined 5-13 on the season. Therefore, Mark Sanchez is not to be trusted.

4. Philadelphia (13) - We're still in "flash in a pan" mode on Vick but good Lord, Monday night was by far the best night of his career to date. Speculation abounds that because of his deep-ball accuracy, ability to avoid rushing defenders and new check-down process, he cannot be defended in today's pass-happy, anti-Defense NFL. Objections?

5. New England (10) - Their offense looks good, but their D is still suspect to the pass. Peyton Manning to confirm for us Sunday afternoon.

6. Baltimore (2) - I feel bad for this team that the year it finally gets a legitimate offense, its seeming immortal defense aged ten years.

7. Indianapolis (11) - The injury bug needs to move on from this team already, it'd be fighting for top 3 status if key players were healthy.

8. New Orleans (9) - Bye.

9. Tennessee (5) - You can't come off your bye week to lose to Miami. Terrible.

10. Pittsburgh (6) - I'd call it a valiant effort against a superior team that they lost to New England, but I'd be lying to you. Pitt is a better football team overall, they just refused to show it.

11. New York Giants (1) - Second week in a row that the number one team got bounced out of the single digit ranks. It's not my fault, the seemingly best teams in the league keep losing by 20+ points to horrible teams. Blame Eli!
12. Chicago (14) - Fact: The Bears are 7-3. Fact: They've beaten DET, DAL, GB, CAR, BUF, MIN and MIA. GB is the only legitimate team among those.
13. Oakland (12) - Bye.
14. Tampa Bay (18) - Speaking of three-loss teams...
15. Kansas City (8) - I am officially off the KC bandwagon. They are frauds. Dammit. Enjoy your division win, Oakland.
16. St. Louis (15) - Sometimes, a worse team will beat a bad team. Eh.
17. San Diego (19) - Bye.
18. Cleveland (17) - Nice effort against NYJ, but their three wins to this point is telling.
19. Miami (23) - Yet another win against a good team (TEN), but it definitely cost them.
20. Detroit (20) - Decent offense, no defense. This is about the best you can hope for, in losing to the Bills.
21. Washington (16) - Yowza, if you told me they'd score 28 points Monday night and still lose I'sd have thought you might be at least moderately intoxicated.
22. Denver (28) - Thanks for ruining my dreams for KC, here's a thank you bomb.
23. Jacksonville (24) - If you're keeping score at home, they're 5-4 and yet found their way to the bottom third of the rankings.
24. Houston (21) - I really thought they had the offense to make a run this year but yeah... no.
25. Seattle (25) - Nice rebound against Arizona, but too little, too late.
26. Minnesota (22) - Minnesota's next loss takes them completely out of playoff contention. Think Favre retires mid-season? That'd be a fitting end to his career, I think.
27. San Francisco (29) - They're 2-0 for the last three weeks, that has to count for something!
28. Cincinnatti (26) - Two all star WRs does not a good team make, apparently. Also, Carson Palmer is not a good quarterback despite reports to the contrary,
29. Arizona (27) - Minus-86 in points for/points against, yet their defense is somewhat solid for fantasy purposes. Who knew?
30. Dallas (32) - Damn you, Giants. You ruined a perfectly good Worst Team in the League.
31. Buffalo (31) - Yay, a win! Against Detroit, but a win nonetheless!
32. Carolina (30) - So much for the John Fox experiment in Dallas, but maybe *shakes magic 8-ball*... San Fran?

Bucket List for Running

2010-11-13T09:11:00.008-05:00

There are three things I want to do in this sport before age and/or injury catch up with me:

1. Qualify for the Boston Marathon
2. Run the Boston Marathon
3. Run the Comrades Marathon

Qualify for Boston

There's a couple of different ways to qualify for Boston. The most obvious and perhaps common method is to run a Boston Qualifier (BQ; basically any other certified marathon) under 3:11 until age 35, 3:16 until 40, 3:21 until 45 and so on. My sole marathon finish is almost double most of those. Running a BQ will require an average pace of under 7:30 per mile. I can probably run one 7:30 mile right now. Only 25.2 more to go!

Run the Boston Marathon

Boston is perhaps the most well known marathon in the US and, to my knowledge, is the only marathon in the country that requires a qualifying time for entrance. I've read countless articles about how awesome running Boston is, especially when you get past Heartbreak Hill with people who you've never seen before and never will again cheering you on like you're breaking away to score a touchdown for the Patriots. I remain confident that my hills on 273 are at least equivalent to Boston, if not greater so I don't worry about the ups and downs of the course. In truth I think qualifying for Boston will be harder than running the race itself as once you get there, there's really no time crunch. If ever there was such a thing as a "celebratory marathon", Boston is it.

Run the Comrades Marathon

I understand why Boston calls to me; it is the pinnacle of US distance running and represents undeniable skill and ability. I do not understand why Comrades calls to me though. It is technically called the "Comrades Marathon", however the name is deceptive; a marathon is 26.2 miles. A race that exceeds that distance is commonly referred to as an ultra marathon. Comrades is usually about 56 miles depending on whether it's an "up" or "down" year as they flip the course from one year to the next. Rumor has it the "down" course is actually way more destructive than the "up" course which plays to one of my strengths, running uphill. Rumor also has it that my hills on 273 are nothing compared to some of the more moderate hills in Comrades, let alone the biggest. I have no interest in running any other ultra marathon but for some reason, once I learned of Comrades a few years ago I felt that inexplicable desire to conquer something I knew nothing about and was so ridiculously far away from thinking about attempting.

Comrades has a 12 hour cutoff, regardless of which race is being run. If you make it, you attain something akin to hero status with the locals and in the overall running community. If you miss it by one second, you may as well have not bothered making the trip to South Africa. Your name does not appear anywhere in the records, even as a DNF entry and you are essentially shunned by the racing officials. 56 miles in 12 hours works out to just under 13 minutes per mile. If only the BQ times were so lenient! Alas, this is an ultra. I can stay under 13 minutes for more than a half marathon these days, and probably for a full marathon given the appropriate time to train for one, but more than two marathons consecutively, and over the most difficult terrain these legs have ever seen?

My guess is that I'm about five years of hard work away from hitting a BQ. Once I do that though, obviously I get into Boston itself, and am probably at a good launching point to take my shot at Comrades. It all sounds just too easy, doesn't it? I know it won't be easy, but it is pretty simple; if I've learned one thing through my various running successes in the last year or so, it's that this sport gives back exactly what you put into it.

Senses

2010-11-12T21:42:00.002-05:00

Something didn't feel right, that much was certain. What exactly was it that caused this sense of heightened anxiety in the absence of any obvious cause? He looked around. The gas station looked as any other might, perhaps a bit different only in the way its various stations were laid out. Two pumps lined either side with two pair between them in front of the convenience store. It was dark, but well lit. It was chilly, but tolerable. The sense of imminent doom subsided as his eyes fell upon an attendant, supposedly on duty, smoking a cigarette within feet of a pump. He stared on in abject horror as she took one drag, another, then pulled out her cell phone and paid attention to nothing else but whatever machinations danced across her screen, otherwise oblivious to the game of Russian roulette she mindlessly played with not only her own life but the lives of her customers.

She stubbed her smoke out with no catastrophic explosion to show for it and returned inside. His eyes followed her the whole way, as though if he looked away she would pop another cigarette, lay flame to it and toss it at one of the pumps. Apparently she didn't consider the incineration of everyone around her an advantageous move up the corporate gas station ladder. Nonplussed, his eyes wandered in search of whatever barely perceptible stimulus was causing him to experience an almost petrified sense of danger. What the hell was it that was making him feel so uneasy?

The pump on the other side of his own stopped abruptly. He looked over the top to spy a young man, boy perhaps, finishing his fillup of an SUV. His parents'? His? How does a kid that young land an SUV already?

He didn't get any further in trying to figure out the 16 to 20 years of life that person had behind them as cold steel pressed against his arm. He didn't have to look down to know that a gun barrel was jabbing him in the ribs, the shaft of a pistol caressing his bare arm. He shut down immediately as he knew a number of things that his apparent assailant did not. He was not armed, nor particularly trained in self-defense or hand-to-hand combat. He was dressed in his work clothes; the crease of his black slacks could cut steak, but likely not the average gunman. Perhaps one of the several buttons running down his shirt would deflect a bullet if hit in just the right place, but that was a hell of a gamble. He had $5 in his wallet and nothing in the accounts linked to his debit card, nor any room left on one of his two primary credit cards. The other still had quite a bit left before the limit was reached but he'd prefer not to share that little tidbit. There were other people and surely dozens of cameras positioned unnoticed around them, how could this possibly end badly for him? He was Right, after all. He went to work every day, did what was expected of him, maybe a bit more from time to time just for ego's sake, paid his taxes, loved his wife and kids and generally contributed to society instead of taking from it.

The man -- yes, clearly this person was 18 or older now that he had a better look, for better or worse -- on the other end of the gun leaned close and smiled. To anyone else, it looked like they were shaking hands in close proximity, the way old friends and business folks familiar with one another would. The man must have done this before though as he turned them both around so that his face showed to the masses and the invisible cameras with that charming, disarming smile. There was no problem here, just jovial conversation at a gas station on the corner of a busy intersection.

"Finish pumping, get back in your car and follow me." The pearly white grin was so forced, so fake, and yet so effortless. He decided he would buy it if he were some other patron at a different station, as he so hoped he was at this very moment. How could this actually be happening? How could he get out of this?

"If I don't?" He figured the last thing the gunman wanted was to fire a shot with so many people around, some of whom would have full tanks to chase him down with if need be.

"I know you."

Shock registered on his face. How? As far as he knew, he'd never seen this guy before in his life. How did this miscreant know the first thing about him? He searched the gunman's eyes for anything -- truth, deception, fear, strength -- to clue him in to just exactly why this was happening. Finally, "How do y--".

"Another word and I go to your house on Pickler Lane, with or without you." That grin made the ease with which the words were spoken just sickening. His wife was home, his children were doing their homework. He closed his eyes and searched the sparkling blackness for any move he could make to get out of this alive with his family intact. "I know them, too," the gunman added, as if that even needed to be said at this point.

He nodded, resigned to the destiny that lay before him in the next seconds, minutes, hours. It then occurred to him something else his gunman didn't know; his cell phone was inside the car. All he had to do was get away from this guy for a minute and make a carefully conducted phone call so his would-be captor didn't know what he was doing. He just hoped the guy wasn't smart enough to ask for the phone first.

The gunman released the guntip from his ribcage, sheathed it under his ridiculously large coat that seemed to wield flack jacket properties of its own right, and turned around. At the same time, the rear driver's side door to his SUV opened and another man stepped out. The gunman got back in the driver's seat without word; equally silent was the second man in coming around the passenger side, opening the already unlocked door and staring impatiently. The right hand tucked into the second man's pants pocket implied that they at least wanted him to think the second guy was armed. He probably was, given the way the first gunman acted. This all seemed way too coordinated and predictable for them to be masquerading at this point.

He finished with the gas pump and returned the look of the second man over the car's roof before sliding down into the driver's seat.

Week 10 Rankings

2010-11-09T21:24:00.004-05:00

74 out of 91 points was good for 3rd place last week, six points back from the weekly leader. Not too shabby. I missed out on placing wagers at Delaware Park because, come on, you can't give me an extra hour Sunday morning with Daylight Savings Time expiring and expect me to make it on time for low stakes gambling.

That extra hour was time well spent though as I set a new three mile record in 26:47 at Paper Mill Park. I froth at the mouth for a 5K to dominate. Nathanael!

Probably best I missed out anyway as I would have taken New England on any card I played, and I would have lost every such card for it. As such, prepare yourself for a plummet out of first place the likes of which have not been seen here.

I'm starting to notice that when it seems like the ultimate slam dunk in matchups, say the league's worst rush defense versus the league's best rushing attack as we had two weeks back with Buffalo @ KC, the slam dunk gets stuffed up the favorite's hind parts. Odd.

1. New York Giants (9) - Remember when I called NYG vs. ATL for the NFC a few weeks back? Yeah. NYG dominates that game.

2. Baltimore (6) - Since Miami has made their living taking down good teams this year, we might infer Baltimore is not a good team, but they did dominate defensively.

3. Atlanta (4) - Tough matchup coming Thursday night this week vs. Baltimore may well define this team's season.

4. Green Bay (10) - Causing the opposing team's coach to lose his job overnight is a good way to shoot up these ranks. When the opposing team is Dallas on Sunday night, well geez... it would only be better if it was in Dallas.

5. Tennessee (2) - Bye.

6. Pittsburgh (8) - Cincinnatti is not a good team. That game Monday night was not good, either.

7. New York Jets (7) - I know Detroit is not as bad as their record suggests, but there's something wrong with the Jets that they needed OT to beat this team.

8. Kansas City (3) - Guys, I believe you're a legitimate contender in the AFC. Letting Oakland do that to you does not make me look good. Stop it.

9. New Orleans (13) - It seems like Mr. Brees might be righting this ship yet. Note: The two South divisions seem interested in battling for the "Best in football" mantle.

10. New England (1) - Yeah, you can't be owned by a team from Ohio and expect to stay in the single digit ranks.

11. Indianapolis (5) - Philly was in control the whole game, but let's be honest; they played like half of the actual Colts, and nearly killed Austin Collie for good measure.
12. Oakland (11) - Tough break to win your game but lose a rank. Domination is key!
13. Philadelphia (12) - Ditto here, they won their game but lost rank. Vick looks sick though, I must say. If he and DeSean Jackson stay healthy they have a shot to do something.
14. Chicago (17) - Well, they're 1-0 since their bye, maybe they just needed to catch their breath?
15. St. Louis (14) - Bye.
16. Washington (15) - Bye.
17. Cleveland (23) - Getting quite the reputation as a slayer of good teams. Also for having a white starting runningback. It's past time the white man gets to carry the rock out of the backfield!
18. Tampa Bay (16) - If you can't beat a team from your own division, you're just not going to gain traction as the such supposed best team in the NFC.
19. San Diego (20) - You know, they probably get Vincent Jackson back here in a few weeks. Might have a shot at making a run for the West if he's in decent shape.
20. Detroit (18) - Stafford appears to be out for the season. You probably won't notice a drop off at the QB position though.
21. Houston (21) - Remember when the city was irate that they failed to draft Reggie Bush with the first pick of the draft in around 2005? Good times, good times.
22. Minnesota (24) - The Favres are starting to Favre, but unFavreunately, they don't play in the NFC Favre so they can't Favre a playoff Favre.
23. Miami (19) - I wonder whatever happened to Dave Wannstedt.
24. Jacksonville (25) - Bye.
25. Seattle (22) - NYG flying cross-country to administer a 40 point beating says as much about the Seahawks as it does about the Giants.
26. Cincinnatti (27) - How has Ochocinco not blown his top yet this season? TO is making him look silly by comparison, it's not even remotely close.
27. Arizona (26) - Got Favre'd in OT, ouch.
28. Denver (28) - Bye.
29. San Francisco (29) - Bye.
30. Carolina (30) - John Fox is already being spoken highly of as the next coach in Dallas. Not sure why, the Panthers have been mostly terrible since their Super Bowl appearance in 2003-04.
31. Buffalo (32) - Finally, a promotion despite yet another in a long line of disappointing losses!
32. Dallas (31) - There is sweet, sweet justice throughout the universe today. Take a breath and enjoy it, my friends.

Week 9 Rankings

2010-11-03T23:37:00.004-04:00

59 out of 91 possible points for a 4th place finish, 10 points back of this week's winner. Not horrible, but not quite awesome either. On the season I'm in 5th place out of 10 people. The good news: 61 points away from 1st place, but a mere 29 points out of second. First is not impossible but would take some luck; second is definitely within reach.

Suffice to say, no luck at Delaware Park still. I think I'm going to back off the parlay cards and play one of the teasers instead, they offer better point spreads for worse odds.

Lotta drama out of the such supposed No Fun League this week. Fines, cuts, pickups, oh my! The Titans seem to be hellbent on dominating the best division in football this year, hopefully Randy Moss doesn't ruin their efforts.

1. New England (5) - I just hate the combination of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Why do they get to sit atop this list just as they would have nine years ago. Nine!

2. Tennessee (1) - Had news not broken that they claimed Moss off waivers they would not have gotten this high as two through four all rank the same, mathematically.

3. Kansas City (7) - Overtime win against Buffalo does not inspire my confidence. That they found the will to not lose that game outright does, however.

4. Atlanta (4) - Bye.

5. Indianapolis (9) - That D-line is starting to look ferocious again.

6. Baltimore (6) - Bye.

7. New York Jets (2) - Mark Sanchez, weeks 1-5: 81/147 (55.1%), 8 TDs, 0 INTs. Mark Sanchez, Weeks 6-8 (week 7 Bye): 33/68 (48.5%), 1 TD, 4 INTs.

8. Steelers (3) - Likewise, the Steelers have not done overwhelmingly awesome since Benjamin's return.

9. New York Giants (8) - Bye.

10. Green Bay (12) - Way to shutout NYJ! Unfortunately though, no TDs for the offense is concerning.

11. Oakland (17) - This very well may be the biggest two week turnaround yet seen on these here rankings!
12. Philadelphia (11) - Bye.
13. New Orleans (16) - Nice win against Pitt, but consistency is a big problem for the offensive unit.
14. St. Louis (18) - One win back from Seattle for the division lead, and counting...
15. Washington (10) - And now, the entire country knows what Philadelphia has known for five years; McNabb is not to be trusted when it counts.
16. Tampa Bay (19) - I don't know that beating Arizona by three points qualifies your squad as the "best team in the NFC."
17. Chicago (13) - Bye.
18. Detroit (20) - Now 2-0 in as many years against Washington. Yikes.
19. Miami (22) - Chad Henne still has a job? I know they won and all, but come on... they haven't realized he's roughly the worst passer in the league yet?
20. San Diego (25) - Seems like they woke up to the New and Improved AFC West perhaps a week too late.
21. Houston (15) - If Delaware allowed betting on single games, I'd have bet the farm Houston was losing to Peyton Monday night.
22. Seattle (14) - Oakland is developing a habit of sending their opponents toward the bottom of these rankings. See also: Denver last week.
23. Cleveland (21) - Bye.
24. Minnesota (23) - What a wild ride Brad Childress has had since leaving Philly.
25. Jacksonville (28) - Seems like someone wants out of the basement.
26. Arizona (26) - Steve Breaston had a nice day of 147 yards receiving at least.
27. Cincinnatti (24) - Another great day for TO, another loss for the Bengals. Time to fire everyone and start over.
28. Denver (27) - Probably didn't mean to follow up the embarrassment by Oakland with the embarrassment by San Fran across the pond.
29. San Francisco (30) - Finally, out of the dreaded 30s!
30. Carolina (31) - They lost, yet they moved up. Wonder what happened?
31. Dallas (29) - Oh. Well, then. Carry on.
32. Buffalo (32) - I'm starting to get the sense that they might just explode awesomely over some top-5 team some week and then go back to enjoying their 1-15 season... if they get lucky.

Trends

2010-10-30T10:37:00.004-04:00

As I compiled info to make my picks this week I noticed certain patterns in the NFL regarding how the best teams rank in passing and rushing defense. It was surprising to see that:

*Among my top five ranked teams for week eight (TEN, NYJ, PIT, ATL & NEW), the average rush defense rank is seven with Pittsburgh being the best in the league and the rest filling consecutive spots from seven through 10. Pretty darn solid, you might say.

*Those same teams all suck at defending the pass with an average rank of 25.4, New England ranking an awe-inspiringly-bad 30th place.

Contrasted against the five worst teams in the league (JAX, DAL, SF, CAR & BUF):

*Average rush defense rank is 23.2, Buffalo being dead last by surrendering 175 yards per game on the ground

*Average pass defense rank is 12.4, and Jacksonville pushes that rank higher since they rank 27th; the other four all come in between fourth and 15th

This all seems bass ackward to me if the NFL is supposed to be a pass-happy league. It truly seems that your team's ability to stop the run is a fairly strong indicator of its overall performance. To a lesser degree it seems that your team's inability to stop the pass also predicts overall success but my brain nearly explodes when I try to figure out how that makes sense. The best I can come up with is that bad teams rank better against the pass because they're passed on less with teams jumping out to big leads and then running the football to wear out the game clock. That's a pretty common and understood tactic in the game but I'm shocked if that's what causes such a gap in these stats.

Rush defense rankings for teams of interest:

Philadelphia: 18th
Washington: 20th
Baltimore: 17th

And pass defense:

Philadelphia: 11th
Washington: 31st
Baltimore: 8th

Week 8 Rankings

2010-10-26T21:42:00.003-04:00

That sigh of relief you heard last night as the last shred of hope for Dallas to come back on the Giants twinkled out into nothingness? Yeah, that was yours truly... collecting his first weekly win in the pick 'em league with a respectable (but admittedly not overpowering) score of 74 out 105. Hopefully the first of many.

It turns out that paying attention to how the opponent's defense performs against both the pass and the run tends to help one make more accurate predictions. Who knew? Still didn't win at Delaware Park on either my three or seven team cards though, Pittsburgh made sure of that. Thanks! No wonder Philly is clearly the better city in PA.

ESPN proudly declares the Falcons have broken into their top five this week. Lil' slow there, boys. That's all right though, I think the top of my list is a bit shocking this week.

1. Tennessee (3) - Three game winning streak and leaving Philly in their dust is a compelling argument for top honors.

2. New York Jets (1) - Bye

3. Pittsburgh (2) - Miami is "that" team this year, the one bad team that makes good teams look bad right along with them. Washington moved on from that, it seems.

4. Atlanta (4) - Underwhelming win against the Bengals, figure ATL's D is better than the 32 points it gave up to TO.

5. New England (5) - Why San Diego was the favorite in this game is beyond me. Further, addition by subtraction (Moss) seems to be alive and well in the NFL.

6. Baltimore (6) - WTF, they tried to give Buffalo their first win of the season... in Baltimore? Shameful.

7. Kansas City (10) - Administering a sound thrashing to Jacksonville seems as good a way as any to get a good team back on track.

8. New York Giants (9) - Calling it now, folks; NYG vs. ATL for the NFC in January. Frighteningly, NYG can win that fight.

9. Indianapolis (8) - Bye.

10. Washington (12) - Still winning the ugly games, I see. Math time! Four INTs by one DB = 17 total points... ?

11. Philadelphia (7) - Vick's return can't come soon enough for me. Kolb is boring and easily defended, frankly.
12. Green Bay (14) - Is Aaron Rodgers better than Brett Favre? Well, he's certainly less erratic and prone to throwing the ball to whichever person he damn well feels like, his team or otherwise.
13. Chicago (13) - Have to say, this team screamed "FRAUD" to me more than any other a few weeks back.
14. Seattle (17) - Marshawn Lynch hasn't shattered any records for them but they're 2-0 since his arrival (Bears, Cardinals). Just sayin'.
15. Houston (16) - Bye.
16. New Orleans (11) - Cleveland, really? They can't even get within a touchdown of Cleveland? Gross.
17. Oakland (26) - 59 points scored sets a new franchise record, serves notice that they do actually have pride.
18. St. Louis (15) - You know, in a terrible NFC West, they might have a shot at pulling off a division title. Only two losses back from Seattle.
19. Tampa Bay (21) - I read somewhere that their coach claims this is the best team in the NFC. I want whatever he's been smoking cause that's the good, trippy stuff.
20. Detroit (24) - Bye.
21. Cleveland (28) - They only have two wins this year but they probably shouldn't have won either (Saints, Bengals) -- impressive.
22. Miami (18) - Close call against Pitt, that'd have been something if they held on.
23. Minnesota (20) - Brett Favre needs to retire. Now. He's overshadowed arguably the best runningback in the league with his poor performance and possible penile pictures.
24. Cincinnati (23) - Cedric Benson is actually having a decent year. Too bad Ocho isn't.
25. San Diego (22) - At what point do we suggest Norv Turner is not a good NFL coach?
26. Arizona (25) - 2008: NFC Champions. Mid-2010: Back from whence they came.
27. Denver (19) - I just noticed that Denver and Oakland basically flipped positions (and some change) on these rankings. 59 points of brutality can make that happen, apparently.
28. Jacksonville (27) - Makes you kinda wonder if they were better off with Byron Leftwich after all. Gerrard won't make this right.
29. Dallas (29) - Romo is out 6-8 weeks. Jon Kitna is their passer. They're 1-5. Life is good.
30. San Francisco (30) - Fourth week in a row for the bottom three in order...
31. Carolina (31) - ... even though someone popped their cherry and got the first win of the season!...
32. Buffalo (32) - ... but it wasn't these guys, try as they did in Baltimore.

Phillies

2010-10-24T08:55:00.003-04:00

There's only so far you can go when your three and four-hole hitters combine for one home run and five RBI in the entire post season (10 games)... and it's the three that has both of those stats. There's only so far you can go when your team was known as an offensive powerhouse prior to putting three of the top ten pitchers in all of baseball at the top of their rotation, only to show up weak in the post season. There's only so far you can go when your second baseman, who doubles as the aforementioned three-hole hitter, suddenly cannot throw a fielded ball to first base without an error.

But Charlie Manuel cost Philadelphia its berth into the World Series this year. He had the option to pitch Roy Halladay, the best pitcher in baseball, on short rest (by one day) for game four of the series. Roy is a workhorse and would have done it, and done it well. Instead, Manuel chose to try to preserve normal rest for his pitchers and went with Joe Blanton. Blanton's ERA approached five for the season. Halladay's was under three. Using Blanton guarantees the need for the bullpen for at least three innings, if not more. Using Halladay probably guaranteed no need for a bullpen bailout of any sort.

Charlie's whims somehow often seem to pay off. This one was so blindingly, obviously, furiously wrong from the moment he uttered the words that he would stick with Blanton in game four no matter what, it defies explanation. The Phillies' players had many opportunities to redeem themselves throughout the series and missed pretty much all of them so they're not blameless in this either, but if there is one act, deed, play or mis-play that caused their NLCS eviction, it is Manuel's stubborn insistence that somehow an ERA of five is OK to use despite the availability of an ERA of three.

Of Human Bondage: Credit Card Companies

2010-10-23T10:14:00.002-04:00

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for sending waves of correspondence to my humbly sized mail receptacle on what seems to be a daily basis. Your offers of 0% APR for the first X months get crammed, twisted and shoved by the courier in a manner that reflects something of the emotional state I am in the instant I see your respective corporate logos. It is as if the mail folks know beforehand that every last thing you send me is going to be shredded anyway, so why treat it with any modicum of dignity to beginwith?

Rest assured that I read everything you send to ensure you have not caught onto what I'm looking for yet; an iron-clad offer that will blow me away. This means no annual fee, single-digit APR forever and a rewards program that ends in a coupon good for one free Countache upon redemption in a reasonable period of time, perhaps within the first 12 billing cycles. Regrettably, you have not realized this yet, nor offered anything close, so your attempts to lure me into a business relationship remain unfortunately unrequited.

Not only have you not offered what I am looking for yet, but you frankly offend me with what you think I will accept. The most recent barrage of shredded tree parts spoke of waiving the first year's annual fee, "a savings of $125!". What you have actually told me in making that statement is that I will be in for a reverse anniversary gift for that same $125 12 months hence, and every 12 months thereafter. That you think I will buy into this lunacy is beyond comprehension; that anyone else ever does is beyond depressing for humanity. The associated APR with this particular mailing, the range of which started just short of where I would consider your offer and ended at a place that made me think your company supports and actively encourages alcoholism among its employees and senior management, did not help matters. There was some talk about your rewards program, but if drunk people are offering me Countaches I can only assume those same drunks will recall their offer upon the sober realization of what they have done. Call me a softy but I like Countaches too much to have mine violently torn from my life because you can't control your impulses. "It is better to have loved and lost..." does not apply when it comes to a man's ride. Just ask my former 1987 Trans Am.

Admittedly, the above is an example at the northern edge of the ridiculousness that crosses my desk at regular intervals. Occasionally you do send something that merits some consideration but what you don't realize is that I know three very important things about myself:

1) I know my credit score and related information.
2) I know my financial situation, including what I can and cannot afford.
3) I know I'm not that kind of girl.

It seems you believe some or all of these points are not known to me, especially #3 with how cheaply you sometimes attempt to treat me. When you do, I take a moment's comfort in knowing that you spent money to offend me through the mail. Alas, the next moment is filled with regret as I realize that you've probably found a way to make money by mailing offers that you know will be left unanswered. I salute your outside-the-box thinking if that's true, but that is the same outside-the-box thinking that will rip my free Countache away from me so we've come full circle back to the crux of the matter:

I want my free Countache and you'll not see one signature from me until that happens.

Not even to this apparent letter.

Week 7 Rankings

2010-10-19T23:39:00.004-04:00

OK, this isn't funny anymore. I can't help but notice that the same week I started this experiment, a string started now three weeks old of horrible Pick 'Em performance and lackluster results at Delaware Park. And yes, "lackluster" in this case actually means, "I'd have more fun flushing singles down a toilet." Might have a better shot at winning, too.

For the record, ESPN's Power Rankings this week have all AFC teams until the Saints at #6. I think they're insane, the Saints are not the best team in the NFC. Not even the NFC South, for that matter.

Let's see how it goes this week. Regroup!

1. New York Jets (2) - The folks with Hard Knocks have to be doing backflips at chronicling a legitimate contender.

2. Pittsburgh (4) - 28-10 win over Cleveland sounds about right but I expected a hair more from Benjamin.

3. Tennessee (9) - The Titans are making a strong push up these rankings, two weeks back they stood at #17. Hint: I don't know that they're this good, but a lot of teams in front of them fell short this week.

4. Atlanta (1) - Very odd and poor performance in Philly but they remain the best team across the board in the NFC.

5. New England (5) - I really wanted Baltimore to win, but I swear this is where the Pats line up in Excel.

6. Baltimore (3) - Dammit.

7. Philadelphia (13) - Another big mover, up from #18 two weeks back. "It's a beautiful thing," not entirely unlike having two starting quarterbacks.

8. Indianapolis (11) - This is the most underwhelmed by a Sr. Manning team I ever recall being.

9. New York Giants (10) - Starting to think it's not just the NFC East they take...

10. Kansas City (7) - Tough loss to Houston, but they covered! Sliding down the ranks though.

11. New Orleans (16) - That's a little more like what they "should" be doing week in and week out.
12. Washington (8) - OK, so they're not winning "all" the sloppy games. Then again, that wasn't really sloppy like they usually play.
13. Chicago (6) - Unacceptable loss to a clearly inferior Seattle team.
14. Green Bay (12) - Why is it that this team couldn't beat Miami again? I just don't see it.
15. St. Louis (21) - They made San Diego look like a NFC West team. Waitaminute...
16. Houston (18) - Something about the Texans leaves me left wanting for... heart.
17. Seattle (19) - Sometimes luck hands you one for no apparent reason.
18. Miami (23) - Kinda rough that they combine to play four times per year the Jets and Pats.
19. Denver (15) - Can't fault them for dropping to NYJ, they were beaten by a better team.
20. Minnesota (24) - God bless them for making Dallas 1-4. We now return you to your regularly scheduled beatings.
21. Tampa Bay (14) - Well, their 3-2 record is disagreeing slightly less this week with those who thought they couldn't beat anyone.
22. San Diego (17) - I think this is the first year in the last three that I didn't pick the Chargers as the AFC Super Bowl team. Good timing, good timing.
23. Cincinnati (27) - Bye.
24. Detroit (22) - If they had a decent defense, that offense might be scary.
25. Arizona (25) - Bye.
26. Oakland (28) - I'm noticing a trend of the Raiders not doing what they're supposed to do -- cover (and win outright) against San Diego, lose by eight to a winless 49er team, really?
27. Jacksonville (20) - 30-3 should have been 23-3 if not for ESPN whining about timeouts, but still... 3 points? You get 3 points just for having MJD.
28. Cleveland (26) - Perhaps they should call the Eagles back and trade quarterbacks now.
29. Dallas (29) - I can't tell you how much it pleases me to keep them right here.
30. San Francisco (30) - So starts the bottom three teams keeping their ranks for the third straight week, in order.
31. Carolina (31) - Bye.
32. Buffalo (32) - Bye.

Delaware Distance Classic 15K

2010-10-14T08:49:00.002-04:00

It hadn't occurred to me until last Saturday morning that the furthest distance I've run since the Delaware Half Marathon in May was the six mile run through Valley Forge with Nate on August 15. Since that date I have a handful of five mile runs and a mixed bag of anything from two to four. The only reason it occurred to me at all was because Nate needed a little convincing to make it to the starting line at the crack of dawn the next morning. I was trying to make the case that if I, having not run any distance further than X in the last few months, felt more than ready to take on a 15K (9.3 miles), surely he could muster mojo of the same. I thought I had something better than five miles since August 15th though but as I checked my logs... yeah, no. I laughed it off in our chat, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me a bit.

I spent Saturday afternoon and night drowning that bother at Lancaster Brewing Company and with their products, and awoke at 7am Sunday morning, less than six hours after laying head to pillow, with a full-on hangover and feeling like death. Fortunately, or perhaps not, I've found that some of my best running comes in a hung-over state. I stumbled my way through pre-race prep at home and left at about the time I told Nate I would arrive at the race. Nate was gracious enough to pick my chip, t-shirt and racing bib up to save me precious preparatory minutes. Good thing, we took our places about two minutes before the race started.

I told him the day before I was looking to hold a 10 minute-per-mile pace through the first half and then see how long I could hold on to sub-10s for the remainder. There may have been one or two 10 minute miles along the way but for the most part and possibly for the whole race, we ran sub-10 and finished in 90:58, a 9:47/mile pace. Last year's time of 105:14 was cut by almost 15 minutes, on a very similar day in terms of weather conditions; once more there was not a cloud in the sky with temperatures around 60 degrees by race's end.

I faced just about every phantom calamity a runner can face during this race. At the two mile mark I became violently hungry, followed shortly afterward by the intense desire to vomit. Toward the five mile mark I started keeping an eye out for port-a-potties as nature decided all the jostling around was not welcome. Shortly afterward my right calf and ankle felt sore and generally terrible. We were trying to get under 90 minutes for the race so when we crossed the eight mile mark right around 80 minutes it looked like we had a shot, but my top speed was exactly what we were running at in the final 1.3 miles. I didn't even have enough left for an end-of-race sprint.

Could I have done better sans hangover? Maybe. Cutting nearly 15 minutes makes it difficult to consider regret as an option though.

Week 6 Rankings

2010-10-12T19:29:00.002-04:00

Last week, in a word... sucked. Again, not just for me, but I was not exactly the shining light of game-picking wizardry. Out of 105, the winner needed only 61, I came in fourth at 46. I've played with these same people the past two seasons, we're much better than these scores suggest. Thus, I hereby declare this the Bettor's Nightmare of an NFL season where up is down, black is white, cats hump dogs and dogs are more interested in the veggie platter than the steak.

Lower your wager amounts accordingly.

1. Atlanta (1) - They should be 5-0 and therefore the lone unbeaten team.

2. NY Jets (2) - Mark Sanchez has not thrown an interception yet, unlike a certain shamed Mr. Favre.

3. Baltimore (4) - Solid win over Denver, but it should have been after all.

4. Pittsburgh (5) - Bye

5. New England (6) - Bye

6. Chicago (11) - Carolina is fast becoming the NFC's version of the Bills insofar as being a punching bag for the rest of the league.

7. Kansas City (3) - Finally got their first loss against a less than stellar Indy squad.

8. Washington (14) - They're still playing sloppy, but they're starting to win those sloppy games now.

9. Tennessee (17) - Way to stick it to Dallas, boys!

10. NY Giants (19) - I hate to say it but... I think they end up winning the NFC East.

11. Indianapolis (15) - "Meh" win over KC really just reinforces how un-awesome they are.
12. Green Bay (7) - This team is becoming a M*A*S*H unit with its injuries.
13. Philadelphia (18) - Pulled it out in San Fran, but doubtful they'll fare as well against Atlanta this week.
14. Tampa Bay (16) - Lots of folks thought this team couldn't beat anyone. Their 3-1 record disagrees.
15. Denver (13) - Based on their track record this season, they're due for a *shakes magic 8 ball* ... slight victory this week.
16. New Orleans (9) - WTF happened here?!
17. San Diego (8) - See above, with a nod to Oakland and a golf clap.
18. Houston (10)- They have a better running game than we thought they would, yet they got spanked by the Giants without mercy.
19. Seattle (21) - Bye.
20. Jacksonville (25) - I just can't help but feel bad for Jones-Drew getting stuck here.
21. St. Louis (12) - Yuck.
22. Detroit (28) - Finally, a win! Unfortunately, over "Yuck".
23. Miami (24) - Bye.
24. Minnesota (22) - Who knew that Brett Favre's penis would likely be what ended his career?
25. Arizona (27) - This team with those weapons this low on the list doesn't seem right.
26. Cleveland (23) - The best team in Ohio! How long's it been since they could claim that with a straight face?
27. Cincinnati (20) - The T. Ocho Show. Really? I mean... really?
28. Oakland (29) - Damn them for beating San Diego, this ridiculousness was all that stood between me and being $100 richer this week.
29. Dallas (26) - This is truly an awful team through five weeks. Here's to 12 more that look just like 'em.
30. San Francisco (30) - Apparently they're keeping both the coach and the quarterback. Because that's worked out so well for them so far...
31. Carolina (31) - Tweedle Dee...
32. Buffalo (32) - ... for Tweedle Dum.

Third Quarter Review

2010-10-09T09:16:00.002-04:00

Q3 was something of a dream. Certainly it didn't feel that way as I put one foot in front of the other, morning after morning during the hottest summer on record. Upon reflection, it's as if it wasn't quite me but something related to me that did the work. A ghost? A parallel universe bleeding over into this one? Perhaps I became part-zombie.

In the Born to Run book I posted about earlier this year, an expert asks the author at one point to guess at what point a male can start to lose the upper echelon of his endurance to natural deteroriation due to age. McDougal knew that the best runners hit their peak between the late 20s and mid 30s so he guessed around 40 at first. The expert shook him off and explained that men can keep a certain level up until around 65 years old under the right conditions and with relentless running.

If that's true, I look forward to peaking sometime around 45 or 50 years old.

1. Distance
7/10: 53
8/10: 57
9/10: 39*
Total: 149
Vs. Q2: -12.6
Goal: 126
118%
A

2. Runs
7/10: 17
8/10: 17
9/10: 11
Total: 45
Vs. Q2: -1
Goal: 37.5
120%
A

3. Weight
7/1/10: 300.8
9/26/10: 292.6
Lost: -8.2
Goal: -8.4
98%
A

4. Two miles
Q3 Goal: 17:26
6/3/10: 17:47
9/25/10: 17:27
95%
A

5. Speedwork
I did three speedwork sessions in July and then forgot about it completely. Given the two mile improvement, I'm OK with that and am dropping this as a goal going forward.

6. Ten mile runs
Goal: 3
Done: 0
0%
F

The long run is the one area I came up regrettably short in. I unintentionally focused on speed (2-3 miles) and mid-distance endurance (4-6 miles) for the entire quarter. It will be interesting to see how the DDC 15K (9.3 miles) goes this weekend when the last time I ran six miles was on August 15, but over the years I've found that improvements in speed carry over to endurance, whereas better endurance doesn't really translate to better speed. That was my thinking behind doing dedicated speedwork but it seems two mile runs are enough to cover speed.

I did not expect to set many records given the weather conditions but I was wrong. My first run of July was three miles for 27 minutes flat, perhaps an all time record for me. August followed with eight records, the best of which was the six miler with Nate in Valley Forge, and six more in September (15 records out of 45 total runs).

Part of what I started tracking in this quarter is the temperature at the end of each run so consider these average temps for each month:

July: 81.3
August: 79
September: 75.2

I'm at my best around 40-50 degrees so I can't wait to see what happens for the next six months. I expect to destroy every record I've ever had in running.

Looking forward to Q4, I want to get back on the 10+ mile run bandwagon and maybe hit one more half marathon before the end of the year. I think doing a late-year half last year was part of what set me up for such an awesome running year. I used to think of the half as something of a painful and unfortunate necessary evil. Having done three of them from November 2009 to May 2010, the distance lost that certain sense of dread. There was always a nagging doubt in the back of my mind in whether I would finish the race until this year's Caesar Rodney.

For the first time since 2002, in August I started running without braces on either knee and have had no real issues since. I'm starting to find that the things I felt like I couldn't run without are now the things that are holding me back. For example I've had to run a couple times without music in recent months and each time those runs were among the best runs I've ever had.

*As noted previously I took over a week off from 9/17 to 9/24, that's why my mileage and total runs are down for September. That was time well spent as my legs have never felt as fresh, energetic and powerful as they do right now.

"Now ya got SPEED!"

2010-10-07T10:07:00.003-04:00

- Mick of Rocky fame, upon Rocky finally catching the chicken after several futile attempts.

The first thing I saw after I stopped running this morning was my watch's display. 16:51 stared back at me. Having just completed two one-mile laps around Paper Mill Park, the first thing I heard was the famed trainer's declaration.

We'll see Sunday morning if I can string 9.3 miles together around the Wilmington Riverfront like this.

Week 5 Rankings

2010-10-05T21:01:00.003-04:00

Yeah, so... trying to apply these rankings to my Pick 'Em league, and also to parlay cards at Delaware Park last weekend yielded disastrous results. I'm not dissuaded though as everyone in the Pick 'Em league had a rough time, mostly thanks to ridiculous losses by each of Cincinnati, Indianapolis and Philadelphia. Out of 105 possible points, the week 4 winner needed only 73 and the group average was 60.3.

We'll just quietly ignore that yours truly was second to last for the week at 53. *cough*

Anywho, there's actually an Excel spreadsheet and some math behind all this so I feel like it needs a few more weeks to either show its apparent worth or be abandoned for whatever whims occur to me as per usual.

1. Falcons (3) - It was against the woeful 49ers but when they needed to drive and get three, they did it.

2. Jets (10) - The resurgent LT makes them even more exciting.

3. Chiefs (4) - Bye week.

4. Ravens (9)- HUGE win against Pittsburgh, but also a well-timed one with Ben back in this
week.

5. Steelers (2) - Speaking of Benjamin...

6. Patriots (12) - I figured Miami might edge them out Monday night. They just missed the edge. By 27 points, but who's counting?

7. Packers (7) - What is it with Detroit scoring lots of points against supposedly good teams, but losing?

8. Chargers (18) - I thought without Vincent Jackson, Gates would be well covered. Yeah, no.

9. Saints (11) - What the hell happened to their explosive offense? And why the hell are they not throwing deep to Colston?

10. Texans (16) - The AFC South is the premier division in football? Whoda thunk.

11. Bears (1) - This is where your team ends up when your QB gets sacked nine times. In the first half.
12. Rams (19) - I'm as surprised as you, but they are on a two-game winning streak.
13. Broncos (21) - I have the sense this team is going to go the opposite way we think they will for most of the season.
14. Redskins (22) - Wow, that was a truly hideous win. McNabb threw for 125 yards, apparently that's all he needed though.
15. Colts (5) - Losses to Houston and Jacksonville, wins against Denver and NYG. Yep, middle of the pack.
16. Buccaneers (15) - Bye week.
17. Titans (6) - If only they had Chris Johnson five years ago when runningbacks were at their peak usage in the NFL.
18. Eagles (8) - Smart money says they can't come out of San Francisco with a W Sunday night with Kolb at the helm and playing an 0-4 team that shouldn't be.
19. Giants (25) - Win or lose, there's no question that they deserve what they come away with each game.
20. Bengals (14) - Nice to see TO break out, even if it was in a loss to Cleveland. Your turn, Mr. Cinco.
21. Seahawks (17) - Just a moderately bad team, good luck picking them week to week.
22. Vikings (20) - Bye week.
23. Browns (27) - Didn't think they had it in them to take Cincy down.
24. Dolphins (13) - Belichik dismantling their entire team in all three phases does not bode well.
25. Jaguars (28) - Crushed by Vickadelphia by 25, they bounce back by beating the better Manning.
26. Cowboys (24) - Bye week.
27. Cardinals (23) - Demolished by San Diego, that was gross.
28. Lions (29) - Like the 49ers, they can't seem to buy a win.
29. Raiders (26) - Somewhere, JaWalrus Russell is gaining more weight while doing nothing.
30. 49ers (32) - Tough, tough way to not hold on at the end vs. Atlanta.
31. Panthers (30) - Maybe they should have kept Delhomme around?
32. Bills (31) - Is it possible to just fire/cut everyone and start over?

Multitasking

2010-10-03T11:28:00.003-04:00

Due to technical difficulties, my ipod is (hopefully) (temporarily) out of commission. Fortunately the iPhone works well as a backup in two ways; it has all my music loaded on it and I have the Pandora app so I can get streaming music. Hooray for non-playlist musical randomness!

Out on a five miler this morning with the iPhone, suddenly the music cut out and I heard ringing in my ears. I had to laugh; Dad called about two miles in so I stopped my watch, took a couple of breaths and talked with him for a few minutes. Sure, it would have been more impressive to hold the conversation while on the run but I felt weird enough standing on the edge of the road with headphones on, seemingly talking to myself about beer and the upcoming Eagles/Redskins game later today. Doing that while running... that would be toeing the line between showing off and insanity.

Week 4 Rankings

2010-09-28T21:16:00.003-04:00

I used to look forward to ESPN's Power Rankings each week for snippets on how each team is doing in relation to the other teams. Anymore, I find their product boring and unimaginative. The PRs these days are more a reflection than a projection. Some might say that even with that being the case, they still aren't good. Case in point, the Chiefs are undefeated but are ranked #15 on their most recent list.

If you can't join 'em, beat 'em, as they say. My goal with these is to take the cumulative performance of each team into consideration when judging their current rank, and to consider the strength of the division from which they come since 37.5% of their games will be against those teams. An otherwise good team who demolished another recognizably good team last week but lost to a scrub the next for some reason will not excel on this list. I yearn for consistency, reliability and the occasional playmaker.

With that:

1. Eagles

Just kidding.

1. Bears - Green Bay certainly beat themselves Monday night, but the Bears capitalized.
2. Steelers - Charlie Batch has zero pressure on him to perform; lots of people hate Big Ben though.
3. Falcons - Good to see someone give the Saints a run in the NFC South; need more out of Turner.
4. Chiefs - If Cassel looks like he wants Tom Brady's job again, this team indeed becomes a force.
5. Colts - Opening week loss to Houston notwithstanding, the elder Manning continues to impress
6. Titans - Arguably the best RB in the league definitely helps them reach this high
7. Packers - 18 penalties in one game should be an anti-mercy rule where you automatically forfeit.
8. Eagles - JAX is awful but keeping them out of the end zone for four quarters was a good sign.
9. Ravens - Finally, Flacco realizes how good Anquan is for him.
10. Jets - Starting to see how they backed into the AFC title game last year.
11. Saints - Waaaay too many weapons to be this low but they've not been impressive this year.
12. Patriots - If only there was a defense to compliment the resurgent Brady/Welker connection.
13. Dolphins - This is a quietly solid team; might move for a wildcard spot if they get a little luck.
14. Bengals - That neither Ocho nor TO have exploded yet is troubling, especially for fantasy purposes.
15. Buccaneers - Pitt dismantling them shows the TB fans knew what was coming, causing the game to get blacked out.
16. Texans - Had real hope for them coming out of the gate but letting Dallas find themselves against you is unforgivable.
17. Seahawks - Seattle has X-Factor written all over it this year; probably spoil someone's playoff hopes down the stretch.
18. Chargers - My, how the mighty have fallen.
19. Rams - My, how the awful have risen!
20. Vikings - Brett Favre's days of being feared instead of either mocked or pitied are over.
21. Broncos - A healthy Knowshon certainly propels them a few spots up.
22. Redskins - Really? The Rams? ... really? This is becoming a trend.
23. Cardinals - Where's Kurt Warner when you need him. Well, let's start with where his wife is.
24. Cowboys - Who gets axed first, Wade Phillips or Tony Romo? Probably the former. Hopefully both.
25. Giants - And here I thought pre-week 1 it'd be Dallas/NYG for the top spot in the NFC East.
26. Raiders - Poor Jason Campbell.
27. Browns - They actually have a running attack. Who knew?
28. Jaguars - Blown out twice, but a nice (and surprising) opening week win to hang their hats on.
29. Lions - Cheated out of one against CHI, almost came back on PHL, soundly beaten by MIN. Some things never change.
30. Panthers - What ever happened to the pair of RBs they used to throw at everyone?
31. Bills - 15 years ago they were at the end of going to the Super Bowl four consecutive years (without winning). Maybe in another 15 they'll get back.
32. 49ers - Blown out twice, winless overall. Yep, worst team in the league.

Dialing it Back, Ramping it Up

2010-09-25T12:43:00.003-04:00

Prior to this morning my last run was on September 16, three miles in just short of 32 minutes. During that run I felt that chest-based weirdness I've mentioned previously and my legs felt heavy, lethargic and exhausted. For reference, eight days earlier I ran the same three miles in 29:30, and it was ten degrees warmer that morning. This was concerning because I haven't been in heavy training mode for months, although I did push myself hard through the hottest summer on record and made good improvements across the board. It seemed all that work had cumulatively taken its toll though, so I opted to take at least a week off.

I wanted to go running yesterday before work however Thursday night I realized I had worn my long-distance motion control running shoes to band practice; typically I wear my lighter stability shoes, the same ones that carried me to my half-marathon record in May. Motion control shoes are very thick in the heel to help correct over-pronation in typically bigger runners with low arches like me. That's great for running, but I discovered these shoes do not let me have the dexterity I need in working the bass and hi-hat pedals on my drum kit so I kicked the shoes off mid-practice and played barefoot. Friday morning, my right foot felt exactly as my left foot had a few years ago when I had plantar fasciitis; bruised in the heel and very difficult to walk on. I spent my work day Friday hobbling around the office because of it.

I guess pounding my bare foot on a metal pedal continuously for an hour might cause some damage, yeah. Oops. Nate and I are scheduled to run the Delaware Distance Classic 15K on October 10 so I was definitely not getting a kick out of this situation. I almost called/emailed/texted him yesterday to cancel it for how bad my foot felt, but I thought it'd be better to at least try it out and see how running on it felt before throwing in the towel.

Having been off for nine days, I thought it prudent to run an easy, flat course as a Welcome Back present so I hit Paper Mill Park for an easy two miles this morning. I have not run that course in almost two months since I discovered the much more pleasing and hilly course right outside my apartment. Result? Without trying, my fastest two mile time on that course and perhaps ever, 17:27.

The heel of my right foot is still sore but I had zero issues with it, or anything else for that matter, while running.

Onward to the DDC!

Fellas, Listen Closely

2010-09-23T21:00:00.005-04:00

Don't run races designed for women. It doesn't matter who encourages you, be it your wife, girlfriend, special lady friend, main squeeze, or female neighbor. It could be your daughter, your teacher, your co-worker, maybe your boss. Perhaps your pastor, reverend, priest or rabbi.

Stop it. On one hand, if you're good enough, maybe you'll dust the field by several minutes. Won't that feel totally awesome and empowering? You definitely need to hang the pink first place medal around your neck proudly and tell stories of your victory while consuming glass after glass of wine.

Bloodwine, if you happen to be Klingon. If so, let out one of those mighty roars for good measure. Don't do anything half-ass, after all.

On the other hand, you could be defeated by any number of women. As someone who has lost his fair share to the fairer sex, I humbly submit that female athleticism outpacing your own is shameful. For the most part I am able to hide my shame behind a facade of ignorance and denial. Occasionally, I will lose a footrace to the finish line against someone who clearly does not have a Y-chromosome in their body. I immediately lose all my excitement over finishing said race, regardless of how I did versus my own history, and frown my way back to the truck.

You don't see posts here about those races, for perhaps obvious reasons. The trash can sees a respectable pile of empty beer bottles instead as I drown my sorrow in my inability to beat a girl.

Don't do it, guys. Don't. Do. It.

Offensive Tackle -> Marathon Runner

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