Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fate? Yeah, Fate is a M%$#%$%^!er

I landed on both feet after a particular jump more than midway through basketball last weekend but felt something... crunchy... in my left knee. It hurt, but not badly. I could still walk, jog, even minimally sprint, but something wasn't right. Toning down my Tenacious D (zing!) for the last 30 minutes or so, I resigned myself to the fact that Monday morning would probably yield a painful reminder of the difference between ages 13 and 31. As measured by soreness and whining.

There was soreness and there was whining. There was also near-inability to put weight on my left leg. The half-steps I was able to take were accompanied by a cacophony of *snap*s and *crackle*s. Thankfully, no *pop*s.

Tuesday was worse. I put knee braces on underneath gray slacks for work. My boss picked them out almost immediately, herself a veteran of knee issues and home remedies, and virtually demanded I make an appointment. My inability to successfully and man-ishly handle steps persisted. That night, in Calculus, my professor remarked that he had a sinus infection over the weekend and was trying to fight it off so please excuse his intermittent coughing. He grimaced at one point for no obvious reason and reset himself on his chair.

"These sinus infections are tricky," he said, and seemed to look knowingly at me. "I had my knee replaced a few years ago. How I feel in my head," he pointed to the bridge of his nose from which a headache no doubt originated, "is also how I feel in my knee."

... what? A headache in his knee? I wanted to no part of that.

I had x-rays done Thursday morning and went to see an orthopedic doctor Paul Bauer had recommended to me years ago Friday morning. I was very interested to hear what the doctor had to say about the x-rays, certainly in terms of my current condition but also in terms of the overall wear-and-tear of running since 1999. My suspicions were admittedly grim. I half-expected him to frown the kind of frown that is frowned when terminal illness is about to be uncovered as he declared, "Your running days are over. You should go bike-shopping." "Bike" could be replaced with any number of substitute-objects to shop for, up to and including "walker".

Instead, he pointed to two places on my right knee which, while not unscathed from the basketball affair, was relatively pain-free by Friday morning and shouldering the bulk of my 275 pound load. "I see the very beginnings of a bone spur here... and here, but I have to look hard for it in both places... nothing to worry about right now." He looked at me, looked at the x-ray of both legs taken from behind and smirked. "I do notice you have less available room on the inside of both knees than the outside... just a, uh... genetic gift, let's say... from one of your grandparents."

He asked some questions, propped me up on the table and started pushing all over both knees. He had me walk across the room and also squat. The squat was agonizing. He seemed not to notice.

"I see no sign of serious internal injury, such as a ligament or cartilage tear. There's an unusual event that coincides with the pain you're feeling -- basketball -- and you seem to be improving each day so I see no reason to do any further tests at this point. The extension mechanism in your knee was overloaded by the sudden demand for force that it was not used to handling and broke down a bit. No running for two more weeks, stay off your feet as much as you can for the first week, and then gradually try to get back into the running. Start with a half a mile, then a mile, and so on. If your pain persists past two weeks, come back and see us and we'll see what else we can do."

He lowered his voice slightly. "You don't do any cross-training, do you? Biking, weight lifting, that sort of thing?" I shook my head; for years, running has been the only tool in my arsenal. "This will be a recurring problem for you unless you take active and aggressive steps to strengthen the musculature around your knees. Your legs are well conditioned for distance running but that's endurance-centric and only really applies to that one particular motion -- distance running. You're missing a strength-building component. That will be the armor that protects you from this kind of breakdown.

The pain of a thousand miles run on the hills of 273 over the years begged to differ. "I do significant running on steep hills, that doesn't cover me?"

"It's a variation of running and while it helps, it's still endurance-centric with just an increased role of slightly different muscles. What you need are load-bearing movements of 10-12 repetitions that approach or attain muscular failure -- squats, leg presses, whatever you want to do."

And so, I am in the market for a bench or a cage. I am also in search of a good squat form as mine always sucked.

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